


Fighting Against...

by Narry1D



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2774093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narry1D/pseuds/Narry1D
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And they weren't meant to be friends."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fighting Against...

Niall had always loved Liam. Liam had always loved Louis. Louis had always loved Zayn. Zayn had always loved Harry, and Harry had always loved Niall. It was a big mess in their small group of friends. They were friends since they were young, and the five of them were inseparable.

Niall was loud and obnoxious and innocent, but drank and swore like a sailor. Liam was gentle, and kind, and had these eyes that made everything suddenly okay. Louis was a joker, and you always knew that when you woke up with hair shaven from your leg, that it was him. Zayn was the "bad boy," but he wasn't really. Sure, he wore leather jackets, rode a motorcycle and smoked, but they five knew him better than that. The five of them knew he was just a really big weirdo and a nerd when it came to English. Then there was Harry, and Harry was...a lover. He was a flirt, sure, but really the only thing he understood was love. He was also the youngest, only by a few months, but the youngest nevertheless.

\--

Liam fell in love with Louis the summer before seventh grade year. Well, Liam thinks he's always loved Louis, but that summer, he defiantly realized it. He doesn't really know how, he just suddenly let the thought through and he let himself believe it. It was kind of downhill from there. Liam went spiraling, because who falls in love with their best mate? Louis didn't even look at Liam like that, and Liam knew he never would, it's just now Liam's in too deep, and now it's impossible to dig him out of the hole that is Louis.

Harry was the second boy to fall head over heels in love with a boy of their group of mates in the beginning of eighth grade. That bottle blonde, bubbly, obnoxious Niall, he was the one that Harry looked as if God himself had sent him down to live on this Earth as a living, breathing angel, all for Harry. And who would have known that Harry, of all people, would think that about Niall? Niall was the polar opposite of Harry. Harry let himself be quite for the moments needed to be most, and while Niall couldn't bare a second of silence. Niall drank and swore, while Harry was the kid who never swore and hasn't even been to a single party. They were completely different, so why Harry fell for him is a mystery to even Harry himself.

The next boy to fall for a friend was Louis, and he fell for Zayn, possibly harder than the other two boys pervious to him. Zayn was crude and quiet, and so bloody moody, but he was the sweetest guy once you got to know him, and Louis can't help but think that he got to know him the best. It was near Christmas in the eighth grade, when Zayn was hanging up lights, and something about the way the lights light of Zayn's cheekbones and his eyes, and his lips, made Louis re think about what he thought about Zayn. Zayn was Louis's closest friend, but now this is something new. The next morning, he knew he loved Zayn. He knew that this wasn't a phase. When Harry talked about love, and how he was in love with someone, and how beautiful and painful it is, Louis never understood, but that morning, he got it, because he was in love with Zayn.

Then there was Niall, sweet innocent Niall who suddenly took a plunge down the drain when he fell for Liam the start of freshman year. He realized how dumb it was, falling for your best mate, and how stupidly cliché it was, but he couldn't help it. Liam was so nice, and kind, and smart, and he always looked after Niall, and Liam is so handsome, and he knows the way he looks at Liam makes it just so obvious that he had fallen hard for Liam, but he didn't care, and he knew that Liam didn't look at him like that back. He knew that Liam had something for Louis, but he didn't care. Liam was the one that Niall wanted, but he knew he could never have. Niall was silent about it until he came crying on Zayn's shoulder about it, and Zayn was the only one to know. He was the only one to ever know.

Zayn fell last, and it was for Harry, and it was the last day of freshman year. Zayn was always really reluctant to even let himself think about love, but now that he knows that what he's feeling toward Harry, he isn't scared anymore. Harry always talked about how he loved someone, and Zayn really hoped it was him, but he knew it wasn't, because Harry wouldn't look at anyone, just a wall, and sometimes he'd glance toward Niall, and Zayn wasn't stupid, he could put two things together. Harry loved Niall, and Zayn knew that he was the only one to figure it out, because the rest of his mates were idiots, but he also knew that Niall didn't love Harry, and that broke Zayn's heart. Zayn was a reasonable man, and he knew that if you love someone, you have to let them be happy, but Zayn also was sort of selfish, and deep down he knew the wanted Harry, and he wanted to make Harry happy.

\--

"Niall, have you ever been in love?" Louis asks. For some reason, it was just Niall and Louis tonight. Harry had to go to dinner with his sister, Zayn went to some motorcycle thing, and Liam had a test to study for. Louis was lying down on Niall's bed looking at the ceiling, while Niall was on Facebook, again, for the seventh time. Niall tenses at the question. There's no way he could possibly know, right?

Niall looks at Louis and closes his laptop. "I don't know... maybe? There was someone, there still is someone, and I'm almost positive I love them, but I don't know, mate. I'm only fifteen." Niall knows what he's saying is a big batch of freshly bakes lies. He knows he loves Liam. There's no point in lying, but for some reason, he can't say that he's in love. He can't say it out loud, because being in love sounds so permanent. "Have you?" Niall asks to stop the thoughts running through his mind.

"Yeah," Louis said, sitting up on the bed, looking Niall in the eye. "I still am, the person I love is so far from my reach, though. They're not even knew my league, they're stunning, they're nice, and they're totally different than they're reputation." Louis stops himself there. Niall doesn't know why Louis won't tell him who it is, but he won't push, Louis is really mean to everyone when he gets angry, so. "It's Zayn, Niall." Louis said suddenly, and then there were the tears. "I'm in love with Zayn and he doesn't even think like that about guys." Niall rushes over and comforts his friend, because wow, Louis loves Zayn, and that's something Niall would never expect.

"It's okay," Niall said out of extinct, but he didn't know if it would be. Who knows how Zayn will react if he finds out, he's Zayn for Christ sake. No one knows what he's thinking.

Louis gets out from Niall's embrace. "How do you know? It's Zayn we're talking about. He's, I don't know, unpredictable. He doesn't feel these things. He hasn't even been on a date yet. I pretty sure love isn't even in his vocabulary. I just...I don't want to be that guy, you know? I don't want to be that stupid guy that loses at the end of the movie. I don't want to be an idiot, and I know that I am. I know I'm an idiot for looking at Zayn like that because he'll probably laugh in my face. He's the most crude little asshole I have ever met and yet I can't stop thinking about how he's the most gorgeous person I know inside and out. No one falls in love with Zayn. I'm just that one loser who did." Louis's color drained from his face then and that's when you know Louis has thought too much, or said too much. "Please don't tell anyone." Louis said finally.

Niall shakes his head and smiles lightly. "You know that I won't." And then Louis said he thinks it's time for him to go home, and Niall said he could stay, but really Niall was thinking it was the best for right now, because wow, he's not the only idiot that fell in love with someone in their little group of best mates.

Niall still can't believe that Louis poured his heart to Niall like that. Yeah, they were mates, but he and Louis weren't the closest. They were just kind of there sometimes having a laugh together, sometimes, but they never had a heart to heart and they very rarely had any time alone and just hung out the two of them, but it felt good too. He always admired Louis because he was outgoing and he was funny and he always stood up to what he believed in, but he never got time to become good friends with Louis, and he thinks now is probably the time they're going to get closer.

\--

Harry's dinner with his sister, Gemma, is so boring Harry's thinking about going into the bathroom and jumping through the window. You see, Harry and Gemma aren't the best siblings, they fight a lot, they never agree and they never just talk to each other. Gemma's making an effort, but Harry knows she's just doing this because his mother is giving her a fifty to bring him here, and he just wishes she'd stop trying because she's leaving in two months.

Gemma sips on her water and looks at him. "So, how's school?" And Harry actually scoffs at this, because he knows she doesn't even care. He just shrugs. Gemma sighs and gets up, and finally they're leaving. "I'm trying to make this better, kiddo, you have to let me." Right, because she really trying here, Harry thinks. It's not like he's going to lie and say he is, too, because he isn't. Harry isn't trying at all.

"I appreciate it, Gem, I do." Harry doesn't. "I just think that we've been fighting for too long for one stupid dinner to change everything." Harry says. Gemma is going to college soon, and Harry's a sophomore next year. "I'm fifteen and you're eighteen, I say we just stop trying to make something better when we both know it can never be." Gemma just nods, and they get into her car and she drives silently, while Harry looks out the window, fighting off tears, because he wishes he had his sister growing up. She's not terrible, she's just his sister and she didn't want a brother and then Harry showed up and she's always hated him.

When they pull into the driveway to their house, Harry's about to get out, but Gemma stops him. "I do love you, you know?" Harry looks at his sister, and yeah she loves him, but she doesn't want to.

"Yeah, Gem, I love you, too." Harry says instead of the nasty words that are playing on his lips. She nods and he gets out of her car, and she drives away then because Harry knows she has some big graduation party to go to. Harry walks to the door, slumped over because tonight was a bust, and they honestly don't know what they were expecting. They knew one dinner wouldn't change everything, but they were hoping it would make it better, but really it made it worse, because now they've given up.

That night, Harry cried. He was in love with a boy who would never love him back, his sister couldn't care less about his existence and he has to face both of them every day, there's no escaping.

\--

Zayn was on his last cigarette. Yeah, he's fifteen and smoking, big deal, but at least he's not a big drinker like Niall or a druggie like Ed. It had to be his last cigarette for the week because he's broke as hell, and on top of that Harry has him on this 'only five cigs in a week' thing and he would easily tell the person no, but this is Harry he's talking about and Zayn has a bit of a soft spot when it comes to Harry. Harry doesn't want him smoking, so he'll try to stop.

Zayn hops on his motorcycle, and drives the short distance to school. (Yeah he's only fifteen, but he lives like two seconds away so what's the big deal that he drives?) The parking lot cleared just by the sound of his motorcycle roaring down the road. He took his usual spot in the front, and went inside. Niall saw him immediately because Niall hangs out in the front, waiting for all of their friends to show up, but this time Niall looked at him differently, like he knew something, but then went right back to being normal Niall, bright and happy.

Niall cheered happily, "Zayn!" He called. He ran over to him and grabbed him a hug and Zayn just laughed, not caring to hug back, because if people knew that Niall and Zayn hugged, then he would most certainly lose his spot in the parking lot. Niall and Zayn talked for a bit before Liam showed up and Niall instantly ran, giving Liam his morning hug. Niall and Liam were cute together, Zayn thought; they would make a nice couple.

"Hey," Liam said, once Niall let him walk over to Zayn. "I'm afraid I have to skip this morning talk session, I have to help this kid with Algebra. I'll see you guys at lunch." They waved Liam off and then Louis showed up and made his way over. They talked for a bit; the three of them, and Zayn couldn't help but notice that Louis seemed tenser with him and closer with Niall. Zayn wonders what happened the previous night, because they were not the closest in the group.

Then the God that is Harry Styles entered the building and strut himself over, with his fucking tight jeans and his white simple tee. His hair curly styled in a beanie and his eyes sad. Zayn wonders what happened with Gemma, because this is defiantly her doing. "Hey guys," He says in his impossible low, deep and slow voice. It was too deep and slow for a fifteen year old, but Zayn liked it. Zayn had always liked it.

"Hey," They all said to Harry in sync. They talked about their night. Zayn shared that he won the drag race with his motorcycle and got free beers the entire night, but didn't drink, or smoke, and Louis Niall and Harry were proud of him. Niall said he and Louis did nothing but get on Facebook an unimaginable amount of times, and played Fifa and apparently, Niall whipped Louis's ass at it and won too many times to count. Harry looked angry that the two hung out alone together, but he regained his composure when it was his turn to share. He cleared his throat and said he and Gemma are done trying to make the sibling thing work.

Zayn knew why he was sad then. Harry can try to say he doesn't care, but Zayn knows better. He wants his sister in his life. Harry can never fool Zayn with this type of stuff, no one can. Zayn was like a Sherlock Holmes when it comes to human nature. Zayn knows everyone thinks he should be a sociologist, but he really wants to be an artist. He is a fantastic drawer, after all.

Then the bell rang, and Zayn always felt the swing in his chest when he had to leave Harry, because Harry was Zayn's everything. Sure, the other lads were defiantly important, but nothing or no one can compare to Harry. Yeah, Zayn is only fifteen, but he defiantly knows what love is because every time he looks at Harry, he can feel it. He can feel the beat of his heart skip, he can feel his stomach drop, he can feel his face lifting into a smile, and he can feel the warmness inside of him blooming. He knows it sounds cliché and stupid, but its how he feels. It sucks because he's stuck like this while the boy he loves is feeling it for another boy that isn't him.

\--

Liam is done with tutoring, but the boy who sometimes helps him sharpens pencils and whatnot isn't done with him, apparently. He's the smartest kid Liam has ever seen, but he's annoying, but he's cute so it's like this huge battle in Liam's mind whether he should let this boy, Josh, into his list of friends or if he should just be exactly who he was supposed to be; just a boy who helps him with tutoring.

Josh was shorter and he had this brown hair that looked like it was gelled, and styled. Even though hair product was clearly used, his hair still looked as soft as it would, have it been left natural. He's smart, and he's a freshman, and Liam knows that he and Josh would have a clever conversation, and never be bored with each other's words. They never had been with those few conversations they actually had, that is.

"Liam!" Josh called, "Liam! I have a question for you!" Liam really didn't feel like dealing with Josh's questions about honors math, which is even more advanced than the math Liam Payne is in. Liam stops anyway, because he's just that guy, who is too afraid to turn around and tell the twerp that he doesn't want to deal with his petty questions anymore.

Josh finally catches Liam and he smiles at him and Liam smiles back, even though it's fake. "Thank you," Josh says and Liam shrugs as a reply. "Anyway, do you mind if I sit with you at lunch today? My friends and I aren't on the best terms right now because you know I came out gay, and they kind of hate me now, but you know you don't have too, I was just curious because I really, really don't want to eat in a bathroom stall."

Oh yeah, Liam thought, he did come out gay. Liam just forgot because it didn't really concern Liam and he doesn't really care if anyone is gay because hell, Liam's gay! He's in love with his bloody best friend, for Christ sake! "Yeah, I guess that's okay." Liam says without thinking. Why would he say that? His friends will no doubt be angry at him (okay mostly Zayn), but they don't want a freshman sitting at their table. Yeah, okay, he knows it sounds mean and unfair, but the five of them worked really hard to get to the table they have now, one nerdy freshman sitting there will totally degrade their popularity and their table will just be another round lunch table of many.

Josh sighs a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much Liam. You don't know what this means to me." Josh gives him this weird, half hug and smiles. "I owe you, dude, I owe you." Yeah, you so do, Liam thinks because this stupid kid is going to make his friends mad at him, probably make Liam's dependable, responsible, count-on-him, kind of guy reputation of the group go poof. Not to mention, it will make Louis mad at him. Niall or Harry, he can deal with being angry at him, but Louis is not one of his regular mates. This is Louis. Liam wants to be perfect around Louis. He want to come off as he can do nothing wrong in front of Louis, but now look at him, inviting a gay, nerdy, tiny freshman to their table.

Liam knows this can go nowhere but wrong.

\--

"You did what?!" Louis yells to Liam. He can't believe Liam did this. This was the popular table. The table everyone wanted to sit at, and Liam goes and invites a fucking nerdy freshman to sit at it? Was he stupid? "What the hell, Liam? You know what this means, don't you?"

Liam groans. "It's just a fucking table, Lou. It won't matter in a year or two. Plus, this kid just came out. He has no friends, and no one likes him. Our group is full of the most accepting people I know. So you need to calm down because I'm not making him leave, and if you even dare try then I am moving to a different table and taking whoever I can with me." Louis never shut up as fast as just then, but he was still angry and he sat there a glared. Louis knew that more people would follow Liam than himself. Louis wasn't as likeable as Liam. He was funny, sure, but he wasn't friendly, and surprisingly, people like kindness more than humor. Liam sat down, and then Niall arrived with Harry traveling like a puppy dog behind him. Harry and Niall were just those friends. Those friends that no one understood, but they were incredibly close and no one could take them away from each other. Then Zayn came in shortly after with his varsity jacket and his black jeans. He really did look like a model with his cheekbones and eyelashes.

"Hey," Niall said and Niall and Harry took their usual seat right next to each other. Niall opened up his lunch bag and pulled out two sandwiches, and gave one to Harry, and gave him some of his chips. That's what they did every day. They shared. Harry and Niall shared everything. It's strange because Niall doesn't share food, yet he always gives up one of his sandwiches to Harry, and Harry doesn't even have to ask. Niall and Harry are defiantly the closest, which is weird, but Liam knows that after high school, Niall and Harry will always be best friends. Liam wishes he had that with Louis, but Louis is closest to Zayn, and Liam is just kind of there, being friends with all of them, but not having one person to know that they will always be by his side. It kind of sucks being that guy, while the rest of the lads have best friends within the group of best friends.

That's when Josh comes over and awkwardly sits next to Liam, not making eye contact with anyone; he just took a sip from his water bottle. Liam cleared his throat. "This is Josh, guys. He's sitting with us today." Liam had this tone in his voice that meant it won't matter what anyone says, Josh isn't leaving. So all the guys said their quiet 'hellos,' and went on eating. Well, except for Niall who was beyond the most outgoing compared to the other guys. He started a conversation with Josh, asking if he liked pizza or books or what his favorite color was. Liam admired Niall. Niall was the type of guy that would be your friend if you came to school in a milk costume. Niall likes having friends. In fact, he's friends with anyone in their school, and he doesn't have a single enemy.

Louis, Liam and Zayn had their normal "what are you doing after school today?" conversation at lunch. (They knew it would only be the three of them because it was Friday and Friday's were only Niall and Harry days. They would do absolutely nothing, but for some bloody reason it could only be the two of them.) While Niall somehow got Harry to join the conversation he was having with Josh. Having Josh at the table wasn't so bad; he was nice and kind of funny. He liked Liam. It was obvious, but Liam was oblivious to it.

\--

Niall and Harry have been friends the longest. Since they were in diapers and it was no doubt that the Style's and the Horan's were the closest families amongst the group. Gemma and Greg got along, Bobby and Robin always grilled together and Maura and Anne were best friends since the met in the hospital when having Niall and Harry. So yes, Niall and Harry were those friends. They didn't really do anything separately, only when they had to. It was rare that either of them would be asleep alone in the bed. They did that, they slept in the same bed. When all the lads have an overnighter together, everyone would sleep in their own little space, or their own little couch, but not Niall and Harry. They would fall asleep apart, but they would wake up tangled with each other. They know how, but the lads don't.

People don't mess with Niall and Harry's friendship. People don't dare get in the way of their Friday's together. People don't dare ask Niall to hang out and not Harry. People don't dare be partners with Niall or Harry if they're both in the same class. Those types of things are for Niall and Harry. Their special inside jokes or their Friday's or their looks they give each other. The way they know exactly what the other is thinking and it's quite creepy, but it's easy for them. They're friendship is uncomplicated and easy and understanding. It's how it's always been and that's cool. It's cool that Niall and Harry can kiss each other on the cheek and find it acceptable, its cool that they can give each other love bites (or straight up hickeys) and be fine with it, it's cool that they tease each other sexually and don't think anything of it, it's cool because it's Niall and Harry. It's just how their friendship works.

\--

Niall met Liam in second grade, Harry met Louis in the fourth and Zayn joined the group in the fourth grade too, because he came with Louis.

One day in the third grade, Louis was getting picked on because he looked like a girl with his striped shirt and red pants. He looked old and he looked gay. Zayn punched every single one of the kids that made fun of Louis straight in the jaw. Zayn didn't need friends, Zayn didn't even want friends, but Louis followed him around and bugged him until he was friends with Zayn. Sure, they didn't have the whole "we have been friends since we were born" like Niall and Harry, but Zayn and Louis' friendship story was pretty cool. They were close too, but Zayn would never sleep in the same bed as Louis. Louis was grateful for that, because he found out what gay meant and if he slept in the same bed as Zayn, wouldn't that make him gay?

In fact, when Louis saw that Niall and Harry kissed each other and slept in the same bed, Louis thought they were gay together. Louis thought for an entire year that Niall and Harry loved each other and were dating. Louis thought that if he did those things with Zayn that they would be dating. Louis thought Zayn was pretty, but Louis didn't want to be gay.

Things haven't changed. Sure, Louis and Zayn are close, but not physically. They'll hug occasionally, but really they haven't really touched more than that. Louis is pretty touchy, but not Zayn. Zayn is one of those people with a personal bubble. He'll let Louis in, and maybe even Niall, if it's a good day, but he doesn't usually let anyone touch him. Louis wonders if Zayn will ever let him touch him if they become more than friends, which they probably won't. Louis wonders if Zayn will let his final walls down for Louis and Louis only.

\--

Liam didn't become friends with anyone before they became the group they are now. Sure, he has Andy and Ed and those guys, but they aren't in the little circle of guys. Liam just kind of sits there and listens to Harry and Niall tell each other inside jokes and the same with Louis and Zayn. Usually, it doesn't get to him because he's just so used to it, but lately watching Louis laugh and whisper with Zayn bugs him a lot more than it used to. Watching Niall and Harry flirt with each other without out them even realizing it makes him feel left out and he just wished he had someone like that. He wished he had a best friend inside the group of best friends. He wished he wasn't just that other guy, the fifth one.

\--

Josh sitting at their table became a regular thing, so regular that even Louis was getting used to the guy. Zayn didn't really talk to him, and neither did Louis, but they don't ignore him. They might laugh at his joke or they might ask him a question, but they never have a real conversation with him. Zayn and Louis are those kinds of sophomores who think they're cool and they're not very nice to freshman. Actually, Liam would even call Josh an exception to Louis and Zayn's cruelty to freshman even though they have very little interaction with Josh.

Niall and Harry were talking about that stupid game they were playing at Niall's house on Friday without the other four and they would not shut up about Niall's kill that was oh so amazing. Niall and Harry had it so easy, Zayn thought looking at the two of them. Niall even has Harry wrapped around his little finger and he doesn't even realize it. Zayn knew that Harry would always love Niall and that there was no one who could take that from him. No one can steal away his love for Niall. It was like a heart, it will always be there. Even if Harry really did fall in love with Zayn, Zayn knew that if Niall just said he wanted Harry for a second, Harry would leave him. Zayn didn't like the thought, but he was rational and Harry will always pick Niall over anyone.

Kind of like Liam will pick Louis over anyone. Zayn's a smart guy. He put pieces together, the constant mentioning of Louis, the lingering stares, way too many hugs and way too many texts. It reminded of himself with Harry, except for the hug part, of course, but everything else. Liam had an obsessive attraction to Louis, just like Zayn with Harry. Zayn knew it could only backfire, for both of them. Zayn still hasn't figured who Louis has a thing for, but he knows it's not Liam. Louis is friends with Liam, but Zayn knows what love looks like. He saw how his parents looked at each other and Louis doesn't look at Liam like that. Liam looks at Louis that way though, and Josh looks at Liam with so much passion Zayn wonders how Liam doesn't notice, but that's Liam's fault, really, because he's so damn obsessed with Louis that he doesn't even notice this kid who really, really likes him. Zayn would be grateful for someone like that. Someone to love him like that is all Zayn wants in life, whether it is Harry or someone completely different.

\--

Louis didn't do much romancing. He didn't really understand the concept of flirting or anything of that sort, but he knew that this girl, Eleanor, was totally coming onto him in the middle of their History class. "I just thought us hanging out together would be a good idea. You know, a movie, maybe some popcorn, but I know how obsessed you are up keeping your body, so maybe some diet hot chocolate of that sort?" She's delusional, Louis thought. Yeah, he hadn't exactly come out yet, but who doesn't know by this time? He wears stripes and red pants, for Christ sake. Plus, how old is she, fifteen? Louis wants to go bowling, not sit in this girl's living room and watch the Titanic again for the thousandth time.

Louis just smiles politely at Eleanor, because she has a good heart, but it's not his to take. "I would love to, but you know how it goes, school night and everything, maybe another time?" Eleanor's face falls just a tad, but she just smiles at him and nods. He actually feels slightly bad, because he's never going to go on a date with her, ever. So why he told her another time is so beyond him that he thinks he actually might be the delusional one here. He listens to the teacher's bland lesson about some dead guy that no one should care about by this point. He's dead, move on already. The bell rings then and he's so glad because it's the last class of the day and its Monday. Monday's are study days with Zayn, and only with Zayn. Well, Liam sometimes comes, but not usually.

Louis finds Zayn almost instantly because Zayn's art class is just across the hall from Louis's history class and he didn't know how the hell that worked about, but it worked in his favor so why should he complain? Zayn smiles at Louis and Louis walks over to him. Zayn just strides easily in the hallway, since everyone moves for him, including seniors. Louis wonders how Zayn got their respect, but honestly if he found out that Zayn sold the seniors and juniors drugs or something, he wouldn't be surprised. Louis knows Zayn's not really interested in the whole smoking and drug use thing, but he'll do anything to gain respect and Louis wonders just how far he would go. It left him curious, but not curious enough to ask. Zayn can be pretty ruthless and defensive at times, and it's best not to ask questions that he knows will probably end up putting Zayn in a bad mood, or worse yet, getting punched, which would really suck. Zayn punched Louis before, and it did not feel good, and it gave him a pretty bad black eye.

Zayn walked with Louis to Zayn's house because Zayn's mother makes the best cookies around. She's always home on Monday and they always get cookies because they're studying. Usually, Louis would call bullshit on something like that, but really they do study. They always have, all the way back to fifth grade. It worked for them because they only studied one day a week, and just trusted their brains to remember it. Usually, they do remember it because they both treasure they're special days together. Just like Niall and Harry on Friday, Louis and Zayn love their Mondays together, but sometimes, much like today, when they actually have solid material to study, they hate it, even if it is together.

\--

Niall let Liam come home with him and Harry today because Liam was acting down right pathetic and neither of them had any clue why. Liam's always happy and smiley and yeah, it's one of the reasons Niall fell face first on the pavement for him, but that's not the point. The point is that Liam's acting like a little wuss and it's aggravating the hell out of both Harry and Niall so they said they would just let him play Fifa with them because one day not alone won't kill them. Niall sat down next to Liam and gave him one of his Dove chocolates, which Liam took happily. Niall never shared his chocolate, except with Harry because Harry's always the exception.

"So what climbed up your ass and died?" Harry asked out of the blue. Niall turned and glared at his best mate. Harry just shrugged, and Liam coughed a little. He was obviously enjoying caretaker Niall, but Harry wasn't having that crap, he wasn't going to sit here and watch Niall baby him when Liam's a big boy and can take care of himself.

"Excuse me?" Liam asked and Niall was still staring at Harry as if daggers were coming out of his eyes and Harry just scuffed. Liam finally just sighed. "Fine, I guess I'm just angry because every single one of you has a best friend inside the group of best friends. I mean you and Harry and Louis and Zayn and each and every single of you have a special day reserved to only you two and then there's me and I'm just kind of there. I'm like a dog. You know what a dog gets? Scraps, a dog gets nasty, crusty scraps that come from little kid's snotty fingers. That dog is me and I just pick up the days you guys haven't declared as special lone, lone time."

Harry snorted, "Special lone, lone time? Are you like three years old, Liam? Niall and I have been doing alone Fridays for as long as I can remember and Zayn and Louis have been doing alone Mondays since fifth grade. Get a grip because we're all best friends. You want an alone day with Niall? Go for it. Want an alone day with Lou? It's your choice. You've never told us it bugged you. You never told us you wanted a day alone with one of us. Don't you dare go fucking pouting and whining because we 'left you out,' because you never told us." Niall was grateful for Harry's mouth sometimes, and this was a moment where he was. Harry didn't really have what you would call a filter for your mouth. If he had something to say, he would say it. Niall wished he was like that because if it would have been him in that situation he probably would have just said he was sorry and gave Liam a big hug, but Harry was right; Liam never told any of them that he didn't like when they had days to themselves, but he didn't have a special day with any of them.

Liam sputtered a tad, wondering what he was going to say. It was written clearly on his face. "I'm sorry," is all he said before he got up, picked his phone off Niall's nightstand and headed out the door, the floor creaking with every step he took. Niall looked at Harry and thanked him with his eyes. Harry just shrugged and went on to turn on Niall's Xbox and got his own controller before throwing one at Niall.

Niall looked at the Xbox controller before looking at Harry. "Don't you ever get tired of playing the Xbox?" Niall asked without thinking. Of course Harry doesn't. Harry always plays Xbox and he never seems bored with it. Harry's been playing Xbox since it came out in the sixth grade. He hasn't complained about being bored yet.

"Not really, but if you don't want to play, we can do something else. Xbox isn't the only thing in the world to do." And wow, Niall thinks. He really didn't expect that answer from Harry, but he smiles at him nevertheless.

And somehow, they ended up at the park flinging ice cream at each other and having a laugh.

\--

Zayn's eyes have always been the prettiest eyes Louis has ever seen. They were deep brown, and his eyelashes were thick and long and they fit his face. Louis was caught many times red handed staring into them because he could. He could and no one with think much about Zayn's best mate getting lost into his eyes. It was strange how no one said anything, but then again, Louis wasn't complaining because hey, he could look into Zayn's eyes all day long and really no one would give a shit.

"I don't understand math and I don't really want to." Louis says surprisingly, out of nowhere. He threw his book on the bed and got up, eating yet another cookie. He ate the cookie and then sipped on the milk Zayn's mom dropped off. "Tell your mom I love her and her cookies and her, her cookies, and me should all get together and have a threesome." Louis couldn't believe he said that because that was nasty even in his mind, saying the words.

Zayn gagged a bit. "First, gross. Second, don't ever say anything like that to me again, and third, you better understand it pretty soon because you're just about failing math, Lou." Zayn went back to writing and Louis just watched because Zayn was even beautiful and perfect when he was doing dumb, stupid homework.

Louis just smiled smugly at Zayn, even though Zayn's not even paying any attention to him whatsoever. "Not just about failing, Zayn, I am failing!" Zayn dropped his pencil and turned and glared at him. Louis was smiling and flipping his imaginary long hair. Zayn just stares at him and shakes his head a bit.

"And that is why Liam is my favorite."

And that is all it took for Louis to go crazy.

"Liam's you favorite, aye, really?" And yeah, Louis is kidding, but he doesn't show it in his face, as he jumps on top of Zayn and tickles him. "I thought I was your favorite. Here I am trying oh so hard for Zayn the bad boy to want to be friends with me, but Liam's your favorite." And Zayn did that thing that Louis loves; he giggles, and then he laughs and then he's crying from laughing. It's the most beautiful thing, Louis thinks. Watching his best friend laugh so hard at something he's doing. It's one of the best things to ever exist.

Zayn finally hiccups from laughing so hard. "Okay!" Zayn cries out. "Okay! You're my favorite, Lou!" And Louis stops, gives a bow and walks back and sits down at the edge of Zayn's bed. Zayn calms his breathing and looks at his goofy friend. "Liam's cool though, eh?" Zayn asks, and Louis almost laughs. Cool is not the first word Louis thinks of when he thinks of Liam. "And Harry's cool," and then Zayn stutters a bit on Harry's name. And that's when everything clicks. Zayn has nothing in his heart for Louis. Zayn's heart has given itself to Harry. The way Zayn stutters on Harry's name, the way Harry is just about all that Zayn talks about, the constant wanting to talk to Harry. It makes sense to Louis now. Zayn's heart was never Louis', it was always Harry's.

Louis couldn't stop himself from saying, "So Harry, huh?" And Zayn looks at him and raises an eyebrow. "I may be failing math, Zayn, but I'm not stupid. I know you have a thing for Harry." Zayn doesn't even say anything to deny it, just goes red, and yells at Louis for not doing his homework. Louis knows for sure one thing now: he might actually go on that date with Eleanor now, because the boy with the dark eyes and long lashes feels nothing for him. His best mate couldn't care less about him; it's Harry. It's always been Harry and suddenly, Louis feels like an idiot, because he is. He always knew he was for loving Zayn. Zayn would always look past Louis, never giving him the time of day, and now he's fallen for the other mate in the group; the lad with the curly hair and dimples and impossible green eyes and all Louis can think about is how much he loves Zayn and how much his heart hurts.

~~Two Weeks Later~~

It's funny because Liam and Josh suddenly are inseparable. They decided that they are the new best friends, and now that Josh is officially part of their group, Liam has no trouble saying that Josh is his favorite. They all accept him now, and to be honest, Liam thinks that every single lad has a liking to Josh. Josh is the funny guy who couldn't care less about the stupid feelings in between, a lot like Niall, actually, but different because he's Josh with the soft hair and brown eyes.

Josh likes to eat Liam's ham that his mom (annoyingly) puts on his sandwich in the morning for his lunch. Liam hates ham and Liam can't believe that his own mother doesn't know that, but apparently since Liam boxes and what not, ham and meat is good for his bones and health, but he doesn't know why he can't just have fucking turkey. But Josh also likes when the other guys makes plans to hang out with him, and he likes when they get excited that he can, and he likes that he has real friends now that care about him and don't care if he likes guys. He likes it and he's not sad anymore and he's happy now and he likes that Liam likes being friends with him and he likes that Niall and Harry have real conversations with him and he likes that Louis helps him pull pranks on Niall and Liam and he likes that Zayn teaches him the cool way around school. He likes it and he doesn't want it to go away.

But Josh isn't very optimistic, and he knows that one day, it will. One day, they will graduate and Niall and Harry will go to Australia together (they talk about it all the time) and that Louis and Zayn will be in New York and that Liam will be in Harvard or Yale learning how to be a big business owner. He knows that when this is all happening, he'll still be in this shitty school and getting beat up because he doesn't have cool guy Zayn to protect him anymore. He knows that and he embraces it sometimes, because maybe someone will like him, he'll do the same for some younger kid like they did to him. He'll be the cool guy that everyone likes and everyone wants to be friends with since he had amazing friends to look up to.

But he's mostly worried about Liam because Liam will forget him. Liam will find a pretty, smart girl who is his age and who is a girl. He'll fall in love with her and they'll get married and Josh will get invited to the wedding, but only as a guest and he might get a picture with them. Josh will probably get Christmas cards with Liam and his wife and his new born baby girl and Josh will probably be right here. In a small tourist town in California, in a small apartment with no one but his small dog, crying over the card and how much he still loves Liam. And as many people already gathered, Josh isn't optimistic. He never has been, never will be.

\--

It's Friday again and Niall and Harry are sitting in Niall's room. Niall's on Facebook and Harry's playing Black Ops. It's weird this time, Niall thinks. It's a strange thought to Niall because it's never weird between them and here he is feeling awkward with Harry and he can't figure out why. Maybe it's because they haven't really talked yet, just the usual about how nice of a butt Christina has at their school and how dumb their history class is. They haven't really talked; it's weird because they always talk. Talking is about all they do together, other than play video games. But the air is unbearable, Niall thinks, because it is. It's tense and awkward and slightly worrying because Niall doesn't think that he and Harry got into any type of disagreement, they rarely ever do, but maybe Niall did something to tip Harry off the edge? It's not like it's not common. Niall can piss a lot of people off, or make people really happy. There are only two types of people with Niall, but Harry's an exception because sometimes Niall can piss him off and sometimes Niall can put the biggest smile on his face. It just depends on what type of day Harry's having.

"So, who's the girl of the week?" Niall asks. Niall needed to ask. Niall needed to hear Harry's voice. The roughness and deepness of Harry's voice kept Niall calm and Niall just needed to hear it. He hadn't really heard it today and it's worrying him to no end. Harry always talks to Niall. He's always asking Niall how his day was or if he got any new messages on Facebook or if he wanted to watch a movie or play Fifa.

Harry paused his game and looked at Niall and shrugged. "I don't really have one." Harry says. Niall's jaw dropped. Harry always had a girl on his mind. Girls are basically all that Harry went to school for. He's got to have a new crush. Maybe she's in the band or something, Niall thinks. Maybe Harry's just a tad embarrassed about her. "School's really pounding me this week; I haven't gotten a chance to look around." School is standing in between Harry and girls? Impossible, Niall thinks. Though, Harry never has a girlfriend and he doesn't even go on dates, but he always has someone to flirt with and tease for a week or so. So yeah, Harry is that guy that every girl dreads, but then again, all the girls worship him because he's so handsome and charming.

"Yeah, man," Niall says instead of questing him. "The last semester is always the hardest. My math class has me literally wanting to pound my head against the wall." Niall complains. "I sit there and I'm wondering if I should just walk out. It seems easier at this point." Harry just shrugs slightly and continues on with his game.

"If you need help in math, I can help you. I'm pretty good at geometry. It wouldn't be that big of deal for me, you know." Harry offers and looks over at him. Niall immediately nods because having Harry help him in math could literally bring his grade up to at least a B. "Cool, but listen I should get going. I have a World Lit test and if I fail it, I'll be grounded."

And for some reason, Niall really, really didn't want Harry to leave. Yeah, Niall never wants Harry to leave because when Harry leaves Niall's alone and he misses Harry a lot even though they live down the road from each other. Niall likes having Harry around him. Niall likes smelling apples all the time because that's what Harry's shampoo smells like. Niall likes lazily messing with Harry's messy curls. Niall likes when Harry is sitting next to him, but this time, Niall can't let Harry leave and he has no idea why.

"Wait!" Niall calls out just as Harry is about to open the door to leave. "Don't leave, please." Niall pleads. "Study here; I promise I won't bug you. You just can't leave, okay?" Niall doesn't think he's ever sounded so damn desperate before, but Harry can't go home. He can't. Harry looked at Niall in question, but nodded and sat down anyway. Harry didn't want to leave his little bottle blonde boy, either. And yes, Niall was his, even if Niall didn't know it yet.

\--

The next day, Zayn pulled a pen out for art class. Zayn hasn't been focusing on any class other than art because of Harry. Niall and Harry are close, but somehow they're getting closer. And yeah, it's pissing Zayn off. Harry was Zayn's love and Liam was Niall's. So why the hell are they acting more like a couple every single day?

Zayn scribbled down Harry's name multiple times before he drew the back of Harry's head with his messy curls and broad shoulders.

\--

Liam talked to Niall every day. Liam liked hearing about his day because Niall's day was always interesting. Niall's laugh made everything funny, even if it wasn't. Niall acted like he liked talking to Liam, and Liam liked that the most. Liam liked that when he made Niall smile; he looked at the ground with his braced up teeth and his bright blue eyes. Liam liked Niall; not like that of course, but other than Louis and Josh, Niall is his favorite because he simply is the cutest. Liam thought it was straight up adorable how Niall could talk for days about a simple cookie. Liam thought that maybe Niall liked him too, not like that, but like they could stay friends for a while.

Liam simply captured Niall's heart every time he saw him. Liam was like a puppy, once you saw his eyes, you were captivated. Niall often wondered if Liam's heart clenched like his does at the sight of him, probably not. Liam's too good for me, Niall thinks. He'll always be too good for me. Everyone is too good for me, because I'm never good enough.

\--

Zayn knew it was only a matter of time before Louis went around blabbing to Harry about Zayn's liking to him, Zayn knew it was bound to happen and he knew it was bound to happen soon. Every time Zayn went near Harry, he was a little more hesitant each time, but after about three weeks, he noticed Harry was acting no different to him, or even looking at him strange. Louis must have not told Harry, Zayn thought, but why wouldn't he? It was embarrassing, and Louis must have gotten a good laugh at it, but when Louis finally put the pieces together, he didn't look like he was being humored, he looked angry and sad, and Zayn has no fucking clue why.

So, Zayn finally gets Louis alone in the science room after school and corners him. "Why haven't you told him?" Zayn asks, nervously. He didn't want to give Louis the imaginary 'go ahead' signal, but Zayn knows Louis. Zayn knows Louis enough that he would have told the whole freaking school by now, but he didn't. Louis didn't even tell Liam and that's a surprise by itself. Everyone tells Liam everything, but it's as if Louis hasn't even spoke a single word about it with anyone.

"Because," Louis said, "I'm not a jerk." Zayn shakes his head, because yes Louis is. Louis is the biggest jerk in the school, and everyone knows he doesn't try to be, but he is. "And I know what it feels like to have a secret you don't want anyone to know. There's stuff no one knows about me and if they ever found out, there is no way I would want them to tell anyone." And this catches Zayn off guard. He thought he knew everything about Louis, but apparently not? What didn't he know about Louis? That he has a tendency to chew with his mouth open? That his favorite thing to do is play pranks and eat? That he wants tattoos and a whole crap ton of them? That he dreams of being on TV? And of course it scares Zayn that he knows basically Louis' life, but what the hell, they're best friends. They're supposed to know all this, and more. So what the fuck didn't Zayn know?

"I should thank you," Zayn says, but he knows he won't. "But there are a couple things you should know. I just find Harry attractive, nothing more, and I don't really feel anything but physical attraction toward him. So, if you do tell him, just tell him I think he's hot." Zayn's telling the biggest lie he's ever told, but he doesn't want Harry to know he's fallen in love with him when Harry's in love with Niall. Zayn's not a pathetic guy and he doesn't plan to be, ever.

Louis pushes past Zayn and looks back at him. "Sure, Zayn, sure," Louis says. "If I ever do get around to telling him, I'll let him know, see you." Louis never sounded so damn dead, Zayn thought. Louis was the one guy Zayn could always count on to be happy, and he didn't sound happy and it made Zayn feel like he did something wrong. For the past few weeks, this is how Louis was acting, like nothing made him happy and no one could make him smile. Its bullshit, Zayn thinks, Niall makes Louis laugh, Harry makes Louis laugh, and they all do. Something must be wrong, because whoever replaced Louis, isn't Louis at all.

\--

Harry has always been shit at telling someone no. Harry's always been shit at turning someone down, so when this really, really nice girl named Zoe comes in and asks him about maybe going to the movies with him, he just stares at her until, "I'm gay," somehow comes out of his mouth. He knows how stupid it was for him to say that, because he knows that Zoe is one of the nicest girls he has ever met, but he also knows that she is the biggest gossiper in the school. In no time flat, the entire school will think he's gay, and he actually is, but he wasn't ready to come out and somehow, he has. Without even realizing it, he came out by using the excuse that he's gay to say no to a girl.

He's worried because how the hell is Niall going to react? He's probably going to be mad, probably about how he wasn't the first fucking one to know, because that's Niall, but how is he going to act when the realization has set in? Probably nothing horrible, because Niall's friends with Josh, who's gay, but they're friends, Harry and Niall are best friends. Somehow, it's the same and somehow it's all completely different.

Harry was right. The entire school knew by fifth period, or when lunch is. He didn't even deny that he was gay, because he is, but he wasn't ready for all this. Harry wasn't ready for all the whispers and stares and now he has it, and cool, he's out of the closet, but he feels like he wants to go back in.

He was also right because the second he got to his table, Niall was already there and then suddenly Niall stood up before Harry could even sit down and Niall dragged him out of the lunch room, into the empty hall. Niall's head hung when he asked Harry quietly, "Why didn't you tell me, Haz?" Harry's mouth went dry and he didn't know what to say because why didn't he tell Niall? Oh, wait, because he didn't fucking mean to come out.

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "I know this makes things weird and off and different between us and I don't know what to say. I mean, I just told this girl I was gay because she asked me out and I didn't want to go, but I mean, I am gay, I just, I didn't mean to come out. I don't know why I said it, Niall. Honest, Niall, I am sorry."

"You're an idiot, Haz, a big, fat idiot." Niall said, finally looking Harry into the eyes. "I don't care that you're gay, I mean, It'll take time to get used to, but I just wish you told me the second you found out." Niall sighed and gave Harry one of Niall's famous hugs that somehow made everything better. "Look, I'm on your side, okay? I'll always be there to back you up and don't worry about the losers who are whispering, okay? They don't have any relevance to you at all. Hold you head up." Yeah, it feels good to have Niall on my side, Harry thought.

\--

Zayn went the entire day not saying a word, even when teachers would ask him to answer something, he kept his mouth shut. The school years almost over, who gives a fuck anymore about anything, he thought throughout the day. It was true, no one really cared. Not even the fucking teachers when he would just shrug his shoulders and not say anything. They just moved on and didn't give a flying table that he was being a little disrespectful shit and not answering any of the questions they asked when they all knew he was supposed to.

Zayn knows this rude behavior is because of Harry. The fucker came out, without telling anyone first. He didn't even tell Niall first. He didn't even tell his fucking mother before he blurted Zoe, the most annoying, gossiping girl in the school. What he was thinking, no one has any clue, but now Zayn's hurt. Everyone comes to Zayn with a secret because he's cool about it. He's cool about everything and doesn't even say anything. Zayn doesn't say anything when you're telling him, after you're telling him, before you tell him, and he doesn't say anything to anyone else about what you've told him. Harry used to come to him about every secret, like the one time he cheated on a final in seventh grade, like the one time he broke his mom's favorite vase in sixth grade, Harry tells him everything, and now when the biggest secret of all, he tells someone to tell the entire fucking school, without telling Zayn first? That little shit.

\--

With Harry now completely out of the closet, Liam thought that maybe it could be his turn. Harry's mom and dad and his sister didn't give a flying shit that he was gay, and Liam's parents didn't care either, so maybe if he came out, no one would care either. Harry was still Mr. Popular, well a gay Mr. Popular. He still had the ladies coming after him, trying to make him straight again. And well, Liam thought that maybe it might be the same if he came out. Somewhere in his heart, he knew it wouldn't be though. Liam knows Harry got the acceptance he got in the school because of who he is. No one takes advantage of Harry, no one says anything about Harry, no one messes with Harry, but with Liam it's a whole different story. Everyone looks down on Liam because he lets them. Liam can't be mean, and he knows that being overly nice to everyone won't get him far in life whatsoever.

\--

Louis didn't really have life in him anymore. Not even when Harry came out. Louis just didn't care. He didn't even say anything to Harry about it. He didn't do it because that's what he thought Harry would have wanted, he didn't say anything because he was too lazy to do it. He couldn't bring himself to say something about how cool it was that he had the strength to come out or how awesome it was that everyone accepted him. For some reason, Louis was done being the best friend everyone died to have. Louis was done being the funny guy that takes everyone's shit because they know he'll take it as a joke. He's done being that guy. That guy never gets anything in life but a good, fake laugh. That guy never gets anything but a big 'your life sucks!' That guy isn't who Louis wants to be. That guy is far gone and no one can stop him from changing into who he wants to be, not who he is. Except for one person, that is, but who cares anyway, because that person never cared about him to begin with. That person only thought about one curly haired nut job his entire life. That person only cared about Harry.

\--

"Everyone's acting like they have a fucking stick up their ass." Niall said, sitting down at the normal table. He observed, he watched and he ignored his friends' behavior for way to long now. "Now you either take it out of your ass, or I'll walk away because I'm done watching you guys mope around like your cat just died. I don't know what's going on, but who fucking cares? Learn how to be happy or I'll learn how to walk away from the people who I, personally, really care about. I say personally because you lot are acting like you couldn't fucking care less for each other and it's pissing me the fuck off!"

Everyone stared at their blue eyed friend, while he sat down, pulled out a bag of chips and didn't even hand Harry any. He didn't even tell Louis what the funny kid did in science. He didn't even ask Liam a question on the math homework. He didn't even bug Zayn about smoking. He didn't even ask Josh how the upper classman were treating him. He just sat down and began eating his food, without saying another word. He left before lunch ended, and he left without a word.

\--

Harry watched Niall walk away, and he knew he should follow him, so he did with a sigh. Niall was a drama queen when he wanted to be, and it's not everyday, so he had to have a pretty good reason why he was acting like this.

Niall was at his locker. He looked puzzled at something in his book. Probably math, Harry thought. It's the only subject Niall had any real trouble with. He walked over and looked about Niall's shoulder and he was right. It was math. "X is three, Ni." Harry said in his friend's ear. Niall jumped before looking over his shoulder. Niall saw who it was before angrily writing down three for the answer.

"Fuck off," Niall said, finally. It came out broken, because now he was working on the next problem. He began to poke Niall's shoulder until Niall's full attention was on him. "What do you want, Harry?!" Niall said angrily.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked. "Are you mad because your best friend is gay or are you mad because everyone is acting like it's a big fucking deal?"

Niall snapped his book closed and threw it in his locker, before sharply turning to Harry. "Not everything is about you, Harry! You want to know what pissing me off? It's that everyone is falling apart and getting mad at each other and not acting like they're supposed to and I think it's all because we're drifting away from each other and guess what? I don't want to drift away. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose them and if we keep acting they way that we are I'm going to. Losing my best friends is not something I'm going to let happen, okay? Pass the word on and maybe this whole thing will be over."

\--

None of them really talked to each other after Niall's blow up. Not even Niall and Harry or Zayn and Louis. Niall was right, they were drifting. They were all falling apart and everyone seemed to notice, not that anyone else cared, but they noticed for sure. Niall cared at first, and so did Josh, but next thing everyone knew, no one did. They accepted it. Harry would occasionally help Niall out in math in the hallways before class, but it was nothing more than giving a simple answer. Louis would ask Zayn for a cigarette, because as it seems, he started smoking, not with Zayn, but the same place Zayn does, same time, but different corners. They didn't talk; they light it up and then went on with life.

Harry was torn up about not having Niall to hang out with on Friday's, but he got over it, actually kind of fast considering it was a tradition since they were kids. Harry found out that parties are quite fun on Friday's with the other kids, he drank, and he even had drunken sex with a dude, who was a junior.

Louis wasn't himself anymore. He and Zayn didn't study together on Monday's and they didn't play fun jokes on each other and Niall, since Niall was always the most gullible of the group.

They didn't even sit at the table together, the table the worked so hard to be able to sit at, together.

\--

Louis and Zayn were out smoking before school again, not talking of course, until Louis spoke up. "It's the last day of school tomorrow and I feel like sophomore year was a total joke." Louis said. He can't believe he actually spoke. They never talked. They started smoking together in April, when everything was falling apart, and now it's May and they haven't ever spoken to each other between the months. Zayn grumbled, because this was totally new to him, but he throatly laughed and drug out the cigarette and looked at it, nodding. Louis spoke again, "Pretty fucked up, yeah?" Louis looked at Zayn's sharp, defined face. "I mean, we started out this year being us, you know? We were the five best friends, and everyone thought nothing could get in between us and here we are, not talking to each other anymore. Not even Harry and Niall are talking I don't think any of us saw that one coming." Louis laughed, putting out his cigarette.

Zayn was always smart about words. He always said things that couldn't be twisted around to other people. That's why it always took so fucking long to respond, but when he did, it was either good advice, life lesson quote, or something that never makes sense until you're in your bed late at night, staring up at ceiling and then suddenly everything clicks. "I think we're just finally being us. We were the oddest fucking group in the school. You were the prankster, Niall was the jokester, Harry was the flirt, Liam was the smart one, Josh was the sensible one, and I was the bad boy. We didn't work, man. This...this was bound to happen, us leaving each other. I mean, how long did it take you to adjust not hanging around each other? It took me all about a week. We weren't meant to be friends. We weren't meant to be the goody best friends of the school. We didn't click together, but for some reason, we thought we did and it only gave us a slap in the face. We don't have anything in common and we made it work for so fucking long, man, but we're older now, we belong other places, and those other places aren't with each other." Zayn put out his cigarette and Louis just looked up, not saying anything back, until Louis finally let out a breath and went back inside, leaving Zayn in the sad sun.

\--

Liam and Josh talked occasionally, in between tutoring sessions, but it's not like they had full conversations anymore. It was just them talking about how the last kid didn't even understand simple fucking addition and subtraction. It was weird, because Josh was doing just fine without his sophomore friends. He had other friends from the quiz bowl team. Sure, they weren't popular like Liam and them, but they accepted him and they were nice.

Liam on the other hand, wasn't doing as well as Josh in the friends department. Meaning, Liam didn't go to lunch because he didn't have any friends to sit with. Liam was always loyal in that way. Sure, there was other people he talked to, but none of which he felt close enough to sit with at lunch. He only knew of Louis and Zayn and Harry and Niall and Josh being close enough to sit with. He didn't exactly want to sit with anyone else, but other than that, Liam was fine with the separation of his friends. He found more time to study, and less time being left out of things. He was happy, just not when it came to wanting someone to text or to go get pizza with. When it came down to things like that, Liam was lonely, but he was sure all the boys were, even if they refuse to admit it.

\--

Harry walked into school with a big smile on his face. Today was the last day of school. Which means summer is tomorrow, no more worrying about books or tests, or anything, just him, parties, and the sun for a whole three months. Summer was always his favorite time of the year, only because he and Niall always went to this really nice cabin in Florida, but he's aware it's not going to happen this summer. Niall will probably take someone else, and Harry is totally okay with that, but Harry really liked that cabin, almost as much as he liked Niall.

"Harry, party tonight at my house, are you coming?" Zoe asked. He started hanging around her because she was always invited to the sickest parties, if she wasn't throwing them herself. He nodded and smiled at her before he walked to his locker. He looked down the hall and saw Louis' locker, but Zayn was at it, with Louis, and they were talking. They were talking. And it looked civilized. They didn't look like they were angry or anything, but they were talking, which was weird.

Then, he looked the other direction towards Niall's locker. He was sitting on the ground a book in his hand and Harry almost forgot how beautiful Niall was. Harry sighed and thought that if Louis and Zayn could have a civilized conversation, so could he and Niall. Harry put his math book and notebook under his arm and walked toward where Niall was sitting. Harry slid down the locker and sat next to Niall, who didn't even notice him.

"What up, blue eyes?" Harry said in Niall's ear. Niall jumped and looked at him, surprised at first, but then he rolled his eyes at Harry. "Someone's a little grumpy this morning." Harry noted.

"The fuck you want, Harry? I'm trying to do homework." Niall said. Harry was taken back by Niall's harshness and he looked away, as if he was burned by the situation. Niall never was mean to him, like actually mean to him, but Harry heard Niall sigh and a book close. He also felt Niall's delicate, small fingers tap him on the shoulder. "Sorry man. Last day of school and I had homework in every subject. Tough love, I guess."

Harry hummed, unsure of what to actually say. He then realized how sad this all was. It was rare for them to talk to each other, weird when they did, and Harry had no idea what to say to Niall, who was his best friend since they were tiny, little kids. They always knew what to say to each other, and now Harry sits there staring at Niall, not a single thing coming to mind until, "Are we still going to the cabin?" Harry's eyes widened, and he mentally punched himself. Of course he's not going to the cabin with Niall; they hadn't talked in almost two months! "I mean, no, I mean, never mind." Harry stuttered, but Niall laughed.

"Didn't plan on taking anyone this year, since it was you who always went, but you can come if you want. Can't promise you it won't be awkward, but you can come along if you want. Totally up to you, man, but just saying my parents miss you, probably more than I've missed you." Niall said, and Harry was surprised. Of course he wanted to go and of course it will be awkward, but Niall missed him?

Harry cleared his throat, aware of the looks they were getting because they haven't talked in two fucking months. "You, um, missed me?" Harry looked at Niall, who then looked at Harry and they just kind of looked at each other.

"Course I missed you."

"Good, I missed you too."

\--

Louis and Zayn weren't friends again, they just started talking. They were still a little apprehensive about each other, a little unsure about where it was going. They both knew they couldn't be best friends again, because like what Zayn had said yesterday, they didn't work. Louis didn't understand it at first, because they always worked, but now he does. They don't have anything in common, they like different things, and they do different things. Same goes for the rest of the guys, none of them clicked. They forced a friendship, so really, they all should have seen this coming, but they didn't, not that that made it any harder or easier, since they all seemed to get over it fairly quickly.

But nevertheless, here Louis was standing in front of Zayn, talking. At first it was about simple stuff like what they were doing over the summer, and what kind of parties they planned to go to, and then it turned into the Harry situation. "You think he'd go for me, Lou?" Zayn asked, after a moment of silence. They both knew who he was talking about. It wasn't rocket science. They were talking about Harry, of course, and Louis knew exactly why. Harry was out now, and maybe he'd go for Zayn since Harry was gay and Zayn knew he wasn't ugly.

"How would I know?" Louis snapped. He didn't mind talking about Harry, he didn't mind talking about Zayn's love life, but he didn't want to talk about them being together. If Zayn was talking about some girl in math class, Louis would be okay with it because number one, he knew it would never work out, and number two it wasn't his best friend. Louis knew he was being a little mean, so he sighed. "Sorry, man, I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but this is a little weird and new to me." Louis looked up at the clock, five minutes till the end of English class, and school for three months. "You two would be good together. I haven't talked to Harry in a while, but I know that he's quite understanding in this kind of shit, but I don't know if he'd go for you. I haven't exactly talked to Harry about his preference of dude yet." And that makes Zayn smile. Louis didn't know why, but it did and it made Louis' heart swell.

"I've missed you, man." Was all Zayn said, and Louis didn't even say anything back. He didn't have to. They both knew what Louis was going to say.

He missed Zayn too.

\--

Liam didn't find out that they started talking until the second week of summer, when he called Harry about the cabin situation. He thought that maybe he would want some comforting since they both knew he wasn't going with Niall for the first time since first grade, but turns out he was still going. Because they made up, they being Niall and Harry, so Liam didn't think much of it, since he kind of knew they would, but then he found out Zayn and Louis started hanging around each other. Liam wasn't exactly the envious type, and usually he didn't mind getting left out of things, but when his four best friends decide to have a reunion and don't invite him? It pisses him off a little bit, well more than a little, a lot.

Liam thought that if they could have each other, maybe he could have Josh, just because he wanted someone to talk to. He didn't have any real friends right now and even one would make him feel better, feel loved. No one made him feel more loved than Josh, and he misses Josh, truth be told. He misses Josh's soft brown hair and chocolate eyes, and the way Josh laughs and the jokes Liam tells. He misses the way when other people would laugh at them, he would blush and look away. The kid was funny and sweet, and Liam became attached, and now he just wants to talk to him again.

So instead of waiting seven years, wondering whether he should pick up the damn phone or not, he just picked it up and dialed Josh's number, without thinking. Luckily, Josh picked up after the first ring. "Liam?" He asked. Josh sounded just as surprised as Liam, because he didn't think he's actually fucking call Josh!

Liam licked his lips, "Oh, hey Josh!" He didn't know why he sounded like he just ran into him at the store. He obviously called him, so he should just say something, anything; maybe go to the movies or something. Just fucking say something, Liam! He yelled at himself. "Um, do you want to go get pizza or something?" Liam asked. It sounded like he was asking Josh on a date, but he wasn't, he just wanted to see him, befriend him, and maybe be his friend again.

After a second of silence, Josh finally said, "Sure, that'll be cool, Liam."

\--

Harry and Niall were in car, on separate sides of the backseat. They had a long drive ahead of them, and Harry couldn't stand it because first, Niall wasn't speaking to him and wasn't cuddled up to him and two, Niall's parents hadn't seen him in awhile so there was nonstop questions about what he's been up to. They also continuously asked Harry about coming out, and then teasing Niall because they thought he was gay. They also made jokes about him and Niall getting together because he's finally out, but Niall's straight and Harry just laughed along, because Niall was laughing. Niall was having a good time, and they weren't talking, but it was almost like they were.

Just about three hours in, it seemed as if Niall threw the whole ignoring game out the window. Niall moved down to Harry's side of the backseat, and rested his head on Harry's lap and fell asleep. His parents looked back a couple of times, and each time they looked away from the boys, they would have a smile on their face. They did this since they were kids. Crawl up together, and fall asleep, it was something they always did, it seemed they slept better when they were all tangled with each other, but that was just Niall and Harry being Niall and Harry.

It was something that Niall's parents adored a little too much.

\--

The five best friends, everyone called them. Everyone knew exactly who they were, and no one needed clarifying. They were inseparable; they ruled the school, because they had a balance of groups and personality. That's why they worked. So yes, Zayn was wrong. They worked; they just didn't try very hard to make it work. They thought it came easy to be friends, so when things became hard they didn't want to deal with it, so they just broke apart. It was easier that way. They thought that maybe they weren't the best of friends, but they were wrong. They were. They all know it, somewhere in those stubborn teenage bodies.

They know.

\--

Liam sat across from Josh, while he ate his third piece of pizza. Liam had already finished. They hadn't really said anything to each other, other than "hello," or "what are you having?" Liam wasn't anticipating it would be so bloody awkward. Josh seemed content, though, almost as if he was having a good time, which couldn't be the case. They haven't even had a real conversation yet, how the hell is he happy?

After a while, Josh had finished his pizza and he set his napkin on his plate and smiled at Liam. "So, are you going to tell me what this is all about?" Josh asked. Liam looked at him. When did he get so sassy? Well, it was better for him to actually start a conversation and speak his mind. He didn't really know how the previous school year, when they had met. The quiz bowl must have taught him that, Liam thought.

"Huh?"

Josh sighed, "Why now, Liam?" He suddenly looked as if it was like pain to be here with Liam, and he shut his eyes tight before reopening them. "You left me for two months and now it's all okay and 'let's have pizza?'" Josh took a deep breath and looked Liam straight in the eye. "You know, for about a month before I found my quiz bowl friends, I was alone. I waited every day at our table for someone to show up. No one did. I saw Harry in the halls, and he didn't even look at me. Niall smiled, but it wasn't like he was on speaking terms with me, and forget about Louis and Zayn, but I knew that they were unlikely to talk to me after this, but you, Liam. I expected something from you. Even a hello once of week would have been appreciated. Maybe telling me that we weren't sitting at the table anymore, would have been nice, but no. I don't hear a single peep from you, except from when we have to when we were tutoring." Josh was now wiping a tear from his eye. "I was a goner, for sure, Liam. I was so depressed. I was right back where I fucking started. If my quiz bowl friends didn't save me, then I don't even know what would have happened. I don't even want to think about it." Josh finished, shaking his head to himself. "So answer me, why now, Liam? Why the fuck are you talking to me now?"

"I thought it would be nice to see you, Josh, that's all." Liam didn't know what to say, but he knew he shouldn't have said that. He sounded like an insensitive prick and he was for sure going to get punched for it. Why shouldn't he? Josh basically poured his heart out to him and that's all that came out of his mouth?

"You thought it would be nice to see me?" Josh said in a mocking tone, face turning red from obvious anger. "I can't..." Josh started, shutting his eyes and letting out a breath. "I can't do this right now, Liam, not now, okay?"

Josh left and Liam was alone and all he could think was where the hell he went wrong in life.

\--

Harry and Niall finally got to the cabin and they got out to stretch. Harry got out first and threw his arms over his head and yawning. Niall came from the other side and threw him his bag. "Thanks," He said, after catching it easily. Niall smiled and nodded, before walking in. Harry followed, and on his way, took in the sent of lake and trees.

It was a pretty nice cabin, could be nicer, but it was where they always went, so it felt cozy and like home to Harry. It wasn't wood or anything, just a small little house lakefront. It had two bedrooms, one room was Niall's parents' room and the other was the kid room. Greg doesn't come anymore, but he used to be on the single, while Niall and Harry would be on the bunks. It had hard wood and a wrap around porch and shed out back with rafts and boat equipment, along with the jet ski. They had a speed boat, and a pontoon, which was something Harry picked up for them. Anne knew someone who had to sell it. Harry got it for only about a hundred. The Horans were talking about getting a pontoon, but they never got it because they didn't know where and they didn't want to spend too much on another boat. So when Harry saw the boat, he had to get it. Firstly, it was the perfect opportunity and secondly he did owe them something for always taking him, even though they said he was always welcome.

Harry felt loved with Niall and his family, and watching them laughing and having a good time, and pulling out the memories from past trips made him feel...happy.

\--

Okay, so, it's not like this was supposed to happen.

Louis wasn't supposed to be on top of Zayn. Zayn wasn't supposed to be letting him kiss him. They weren't supposed to be high and most importantly, they weren't supposed to be enjoying it.

But for some reason they were. On top of Zayn's bed, the covers wrapped tightly around them, high as fuck, kissing softly and sweetly, enjoying it. They weren't even questioning it, except for in the back of their heads. They knew they shouldn't. Zayn knew he shouldn't because of Harry. Louis knew he shouldn't because he was just giving himself false hope on something that is never going to happen, but the stubble on Zayn's face and the fact that he wasn't pushing him away made everything seem real. It was almost like Zayn wanted this to happen, even though they both knew that he didn't. Making out on top of Zayn's bed and making out romantically, wasn't on Zayn's to do list for the summer.

But thank goodness for the slamming of the front door. Louis jumped off of Zayn and into the other side of the bed, picking up his phone, just in case someone walked in. Zayn on the other hand, just sat there, staring at the ceiling. He didn't move, he didn't talk just sat there, until about five minutes later, when Louis got off the bed and started pacing. Zayn groaned. He knew he was screwed. They were high sure, but he's pretty sure they're just about back to their right mind.

"What the hell," Louis said, but then repeated it as he paced around in Zayn's room. Zayn didn't say anything, but he did sit up, looking at his best friend, who looked fucked out. His hair was a mess, his clothes all wrinkled and tangled, his lips were swollen and it smelled like saliva in Zayn's room. "What the fuck, Zayn," Louis said, a whisper yell, finally looking his best friend in the eye.

"I don't know, Lou," Zayn said, feeling fucked out. He ran fingers through his hair, and sighed. "We were high, okay? I don't know how it happened." Zayn knows its bullshit, but what else is he supposed to say? This whole thing is fucking bullshit. This whole thing was wrong and he didn't know of anything decent excuses of why the fuck it happened, it just did.

Louis snorted. "We were high?" He mocked. "Yeah, okay, we were high, but we didn't have to fucking kiss, Zayn!" Louis knows he's just putting on an act. He wanted that for so long, and it was just like he imagined it. Zayn was sweet and slow, but rough at the same time. He was skillful and he knew where to put his tongue, his hands, and his body to make the other person completely bonkers, begging for more.

Zayn was silent for what seemed like a thousand years. Louis didn't know what the hell was going on, but he didn't know if he liked it or not. Zayn looked like he had seen a ghost. He looked like he couldn't function. "I'm sorry, Lou," Zayn finally said, looking Louis straight in the eye. "I fucked up. We fucked up." He searched Louis' eyes, but seeing nothing but grey and confusion, he kept going. "This is taking all of me to say, but I don't want to lose you again. I felt like two months was too long, you are my best friend and I can't go another week without you. This is all way too complicated for us to talk out, so let's just forget it happened." Louis face shattered.

"Call me later, okay? I think I'm just going to go home since this is too complicated to talk out." Louis mocked, grabbing his phone and leaving. When he got to Zayn's house, it was warm and sunny and light and the air felt like it was easy to breathe, but now he was leaving and it was gloom and it felt like it was almost black and white. It felt vague. Louis didn't know if it was just his eyes, his mind, and because he was still a little high that he was seeing it, but it was different leaving than when he got there.

The worst part, Louis was finally starting to get better and now Zayn had to come back into his life and mess everything up...again.

\--

Liam was sad.

Okay, so it's not like it was rocket science to figure out, but whatever, he was sad. His best friends were friends again, leaving him out, and his only friend that admired him for being Liam wasn't even speaking to him.

Liam tried calling Josh, several times actually, but Josh wasn't picking up. That wasn't exactly rocket science either. Liam was an asshole to him that day at the pizza parlor, but now Liam was alone, like officially alone. It seemed unlikely that the nicest, smartest, and friendliest person in their group would be the one alone most of the time, but here Liam is, alone. He has friends, but Liam wants his five best friends back. They're all Liam ever really knew. Liam can't hang out with other people because they're not Niall or Harry or Louis or Zayn, and they're defiantly not Josh.

Liam admits it, Josh is the one that no matter how far in life he gets, no matter how hot his girlfriend is, no matter how much money he has, or how successful he will be, Josh is someone he will never be able to replace, or forget.

\--

"Ground rules," Niall said to Harry. Even though Harry knows the ground rules and recites word by word Niall's rule speech, Niall still makes him listen to it. Harry doesn't mind, but this time it seems different, tenser between them and that's when Harry figures out the rules have been changed since last time, probably because everything that happened with no talking and all...oh and he's gay now.

Harry sighed as Niall took a seat next to him, showing him the number one on his finger. "No skinny dipping or late night boat rides, without me," Niall says. Harry smiles at that. That's always been a rule. Niall didn't want Harry to have fun without him, so Niall had to be invited or else he'd tell his parents that Harry went out on the boat.

Niall next showed a number two on his fingers. "Curfew doesn't exist here, no matter what my parents say." It's cute, Harry thinks, because all these rules stuck since they were kids. They had a curfew at midnight, but Niall's parents never really enforce it, so neither of them really follows it. Their curfew of midnight is more a suggestion than anything.

Niall showed up a number three next. "This is the last one this year because we're big kids Haz, but I do not want you bringing anyone home, guy or girl. My parents sleep here. I sleep here. So if you want to get sucked off or something, please do it outside or in the shed. I don't want this to become some sex trip." Niall looked so serious, Harry thought. He understood it. Niall never really liked the idea of random sex or sex with anyone if you were with your family, unless you really, really loved them. Niall didn't believe in sex until marriage, but he said if he loved someone, he wouldn't wait. That was one late night when Niall explained that to him because Harry was half asleep, but he wanted to hear Niall speak.

"I promise," Harry said. "I won't even have any type of sex. I won't get sucked off, or a hand job and I won't even jerk myself off, okay? This is about us and your parents. It's a family trip, just like it used to be." Harry bit his lip, waiting for a response or even a blow to the face. He wasn't family anymore to the Horans. He left. Niall hated people who left. Greg left. Gemma left. God knows if Niall even speaks to either of them.

Nothing came.

Niall just stared at him, and then he nodded. Harry could feel Niall's coldness. He knew Niall was hesitant. This was dangerous. Harry hadn't listened for months, and here he is listening, but Niall isn't trying to talk. Niall isn't trying to get his attention anymore. Niall is cold and bland now. He's Niall, still, but it's not the Niall that was always around Harry, playing games and tricks and tripping him in the parking lot.

The worst part was that Harry knew Niall wasn't on his side anymore.

\--

Zayn didn't call Harry until two days before he was coming back from his trip with Niall. This was it, Zayn thought. He decided he was finally going to tell him, right here, right now. He was finally going to grow a pair and tell Harry. Zayn held his phone in his hand, Harry's number already dialed. He just had to press the green button and Harry would be getting a call from the last person he ever expected to hear from.

Zayn let his finger cut around the edges of the green button, but his pointer finger finally grazed it, and then it was ringing. Zayn was breaking out into a sweat, his body heating up. He couldn't believe he was doing this, finally, after all these years.

He was going to tell Harry he's in love with him.

\--

It was suddenly hard for Josh.

And not his dick, his life, it was suddenly complicated and cut edges and unfinished business. Every time he was with his chess buddies, he couldn't listen to them because, damn it, they were so annoying. All they talked about was chess meets and gluten free dinners. Josh didn't give a flying fuck about gluten free dinners and dumb ass chess meets. He wanted to hear about what prank Louis' just pulled on a teacher. He wanted Niall to talk to him in his many impressive accents. He wanted Harry to give him advice on annoying little shits who were bullying him. He wanted Zayn to give him beauty tips.

He wanted Liam.

There was no one thing he wanted from Liam. He wanted everything, from his annoying baby poutiness, to his fun loving smiles that he gives. Liam's bear hugs and Liam's boxing lessons, Liam's help on honors history, Liam's smell, Liam's looks, and Liam's eyes.

Everything is what Josh wanted, and nothing is what he got.

The worst part is, is that Josh had a chance to be with Liam again and he got overly emotional and he over reacted and by God, it was just pizza! It's not like Liam asked for forgiveness right then and there. Josh hates himself for saying what he said, for walking out when he did. They could have talked about it, but no, Josh had to be a stubborn little shit and not let anything go. Liam will never forgive him now, ever.

\--

"Oh, hey Zayn," Harry said cautiously. What the fuck? Why the hell was Zayn calling him? Niall was throwing a basketball up and down on his bed, waiting for Harry to get off the damn phone and go swimming with him. "I didn't expect you to call." Niall looked at Harry and raised an eyebrow, and Harry just shrugged.

"I have to tell you something." Zayn said. Harry said okay on the other line and Zayn took a deep breath. "And no matter how big of news this is to you, or how much you want to punch me, just please don't hate me, Harry. That's the one thing that can't happen."

"What the fuck is going on, Zayn?"

"Promise me you won't hate me," Zayn said.

"I won't hate you."

"Okay," Everything suddenly went in slow motion. Niall was still watching Harry's facial expressions, and Harry was still gripping onto his towel, and Zayn was trying not to pass out. "I think I'm in love you with you." Zayn finally said. "Wait no, I don't think, I know I'm in love with you."

It took about three minutes for Harry to even move. Everyone sat patiently waiting for what Harry would do. Niall had no fucking clue as to what is going on, and Zayn was possibly even more nervous then when he called.

Harry finally said, from the bottom of his heart, "The fuck?" Zayn sounded like he chocked or maybe it was a sob, but it was something. But then Harry remembered this was his best friend, and he couldn't be mean to him, and no way in hell did he hate him, but he didn't love him. Zayn was like his brother. To even think about sucking him off or even fucking kissing him made him want to blow chunks all over the place, not because he isn't hot as fucking hell, but because it was just too weird. "Zayn, you're like my brother."

Zayn was defiantly crying now. Harry could tell. He hated that he made Zayn cry, but he can't be in a relationship with him. He can't do that to himself or Zayn! "Listen," Harry said, trying to sound as comforting as possible. "You're my best friend, and one of the coolest, nicest guys that I know, but this isn't what you want. I'm not what you want. I'm a wreck. My life is a mess and I think I'm becoming an alcoholic. I'm in love with someone else. You don't want me. I'd only make your life a living hell, okay?"

"Okay," Zayn said. "But don't fucking tell me what I want and don't want. What I want is you, so why don't you come up with something better than 'I'm not what you want.' I want you and believe it or not, you're speech isn't going to make me change my fucking mind." The line went dead before Harry could answer him back.

Harry got up from the bed and sighed and pushed pass Niall without an explanation about what the fuck just happened.

Because what the fuck did just happen?

\--

It didn't take Niall long to figure out what they had been talking about on the phone.

Zayn loved him or liked him or whatever Zayn thought about Harry and Harry didn't feel the same and Harry tried to make the situation better, but made it worse, like he always did and Zayn got pissed, like usual. Everything was just fucking dandy until Niall remembered something.

Harry said he loved someone else.

Who? What? When? How? Harry's a romantic and he's sensitive, but he's too fucking immature to love someone, and if he did, everyone would know by now. Niall would defiantly know if he did, wouldn't he? Sure, they haven't talked in a while, but Harry knows to tell Niall everything.

Niall stared at Harry from afar. Harry was sitting on the dock, with his knees drawn to his chest and the sunlight making his hair look orange. Niall didn't know what to say to him. He never really had to deal with this, and he didn't know how to ask who Harry loved, that's for sure. Harry usually got over anything, but here he was three hours later, still silent and by himself.

Niall finally said fuck it all and walked over to where Harry was sitting, and sat down next him, putting his feet in the water. He didn't even know if Harry noticed he was there, so they didn't say anything for awhile. It was nice, hearing the sound of water splashing against the Jet Ski and the boats they had, the late sun just barely above them and the sound of birds flying around them. It was peaceful and relaxing. Niall knew why Harry chose to sit out here for three god damn hours. It was calming and you could actually think.

"You know what the call was about, don't you?" Harry finally said. His voice was shaky, maybe from nerves or anger. It's hard to tell with Harry. Niall stirred a bit at the sound of Harry's voice, waking him from his trance at the scenery around him. Niall looked at Harry, stared him in the eyes for a little bit before he nodded, and looked away swiftly, not wanting to see the look on Harry's face. "I don't know what to do, Niall." Nerves, Niall decided; Harry's voice was nerves.

"It's what you want to do, Haz." Niall said, looking Harry in the eyes. "You want Zayn as a best friend, enemy or boyfriend?" Niall couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. For some reason, he really didn't want Harry to date Zayn. He didn't know why. All he knew was that Harry couldn't date Zayn or it would make him angry and an angry Niall is never the best Niall.

"Defiantly not a boyfriend," Harry said. Niall managed to keep the strong urge to sigh of relief in. Harry put his head in his hands. "He's my best friend and I want things to stay that way and I can say that this won't change things, but damn it, it will and we all know it."

Harry was shaking now.

Niall knew it was never a good time to comfort Harry, as he was always really touchy about it, but he needed it and Niall could see the need written on Harry. Niall slid over to Harry, probably getting a splinter in his butt and wrapped an arm around him. Harry jolted and looked at Niall, but after they just looked at each other, he finally relaxed and cuddled into Niall's arm.

It was finally okay. It's finally okay after a long time of it not being okay. Even though they were in the middle of possibly the strangest and most conflicting situations they've ever been in, Harry and Niall were finally okay, and right now, that's all that mattered.

\--

"He fucking flipped, Lou!" Zayn ranted to his best friend, who was lying on his bed. "I didn't know what I expected, but I didn't expect him to tell me what I wanted and you know how much I hate that." Zayn finally sat down against the door, and put his head in his hands. Louis started at his friend, and honestly, he didn't know what the hell Zayn wanted from him. He knew Zayn didn't want pity for him, and he hated acting like he was in any way empathetic, but he couldn't just sit here like an insensitive prick, now could he?

Louis sat up and looked at Zayn. "He'll get over it; hell, you'll get over it." Louis finally said. Zayn looked up from his hands and Louis could see that Zayn was actually crying. The darker man's eyes were bloodshot and his nose was runny and red. This really hit him hard, and Louis expected it to, he just didn't think that Zayn actually loved him, but looking at him now, Louis can see that yeah, maybe he did.

\--

Liam knew he fucked up.

But staring at Josh just right across him, because Lord knows why Josh let him try again, and seeing Josh's puppy dog eyes and his naturally pouty lips and the way he raises his eyebrow at just about anything, made him forget just how bad he fucked up.

Liam took a deep breath. It's all been giggles and shit but now it's time to finally apologize for putting Josh through all the crap that he did. "I'm sorr-,"

"No," Josh said immediately, not even letting Liam finish. "You don't get to fucking do that, okay? Just leave it alone. Build a fucking bridge and get over it. We're here to hang out and be like we used to, not remember the bad stuff, because the bad stuff was bad."

"Okay," Liam said, and he was honestly okay with forgetting it. Everyone else was okay about forgetting it, so why shouldn't he be?

\--

Harry was going to call Zayn, he was, truly, but it was the last two days of being at the cabin and damn it all if he didn't just want to spend it relaxing with Niall, Maura and Bobby. Their whole family was carefree and happy, and he just wanted carefree and happy for a couple of days. He knows that the second he gets back home, it's not going to be carefree and happy, if anything it will be horrid and dramatic, and Harry didn't want that, he didn't, but sometimes his group of friends made it so damn hard to be cool and normal.

Niall was drinking his lemonade, doing some sort of crossword puzzle, while Maura and Bobby were inside and Harry was sitting on the steps, putting his feet in the grass. "We should just move here Ni. You know, when we're older." Harry said, sticking his toe in the dirt. It was what he really wanted; to be here in this cabin with Niall when he got older, but Niall wanted to go to Australia, and Harry was cool with it as long as he was with Niall, but this is where he really wanted to be.

"What about Australia? We've talked about going there since we were kids, Haz." Niall said from the distance he was at. Harry knew he shouldn't have said that. He knew Niall would just ask about fucking Australia.

"We need like green cards to move to Australia, Niall. This should just be our second option."

"What if the second option is like we get married and have kids and don't live together?" Niall wasn't mocking. He was being dead serious, he even sounded a little nervous or scared. Harry didn't even imagine a future without Niall. He never thought about it.

Harry looked up and over at Niall. "Then I'll live right next to you."

\--

Zayn waited by his phone for three days before Harry called. He waited three days for that call and when it finally came, he almost didn't answer it, but realizing he'd be better off just fucking talking to the curly haired twat than not, he picked it up.

"What?" Zayn snapped through the phone. He didn't mean to, he's just Zayn and sometimes he can't help it. He wanted Harry to feel bad for some reason, but he knew what that meant. Zayn knew it was only a matter of time before he was over Harry. It was a scary thought, seeing how Zayn thought he was in love with him, but it was almost better this way, finally getting over it, finally going to see someone who actually fucking cares about him.

Harry let out a sigh, and Zayn felt bad immediately. "Sorry," Harry said, and Zayn felt back because Harry shouldn't be apologizing. "I just thought I'd, you know, call, and see how you're doing." Even though Zayn did appreciate it, he felt as if Harry was looking down on him, like he was the eighteen year old boy and Zayn was the thirteen year old girl who had a crush on him.

Zayn's voice got lower, and venom laced between each breath. "I don't need you to fucking check up on me, Styles. I'm not a girl. I'm over it, so it's you're turn." Zayn ended the call before he could regret everything that he ever did in his entire life. He didn't even let Harry have a chance to speak, and he didn't want to. From that point forward, avoiding Harry became Zayn's number one priority.

\--

Harry hated this part. He hated listening to Niall's parents waking up early; making everyone coffee and hearing them put bags in the trunk. He hated listening to Niall grumble because he knew what all of it meant too. Harry hated leaving. The saddest part, is that no matter how much he tried to tell himself it's going to be the same thing back home, he knows it won't be. Who the hell knows if Niall's going to ignore him again, who knows what's going on with Zayn, and who the hell knows where the rest of the guys went. Louis pretty much went A-Wall, and Liam went off the charts. Harry cared about Josh, he did, but not enough to wonder what happened to him.

Niall gets up earlier on the leaving day. Harry's usually the one who's running out to the car right before they're about to leave, so when he heard Niall grumble for the last time, and he heard the bed creek, Harry got up too. Niall didn't even question him, just got up, told him good morning and left the room.

Niall is still hesitant around him, but significantly less hesitant since when they got here. Niall started hugging Harry again, and that's something Harry missed, probably more than anything. Niall started telling Harry he loved him again (of course as in 'you're like my brother and I love you'). Harry noticed the little things, too, like when Niall's eyes would light up when Harry walked in, and when Harry smiled, Niall instantly smiled, too.

Harry guesses those were the little things that made him believe that Niall may just return his feelings, but he let the idea go. He shouldn't have let himself believe for this god damn long, but he did and that's why it hurts so fucking much to let go.

But he knows he has to, and he plans on it, just after he tells Niall how he feels about him.

\--

Days here were numbered, Niall thought, looking for the last time at the lake. He knew it would be a matter of time before Maura or Bobby just got too old to drive all the way out to Florida. He knew it was only a matter of time till they would have to sell this place; the place where they had made so many fucking memories.

He made his way inside and he didn't even look at the pictures on the wall, because he didn't want to remember them. He wanted them to be distant in his memory, just in case this was their last time here.

\--

Forgiving wasn't exactly Zayn's forte, but he didn't exactly need to forgive Harry, more like he needed to apologize. He acted like a dick to Harry, and he knows that, it's just apologizing wasn't his forte 'exactly' either. He felt it took away his pride, yes, the simple, two words that are "I'm," and "sorry," took away his pride. He knew it didn't make sense because why would it? His kind doesn't make sense.

Harry was still his best friend, more or less, and though he was getting over Harry, (he might even be over Harry), he still wanted him in his life and if that means being a bigger person even just once, then so be it. It'll take time, thinking of something to say, but time is the one thing that's actually on his side right now. Time wasn't an issue, it's the things he actually has to say.

\--

They were dropping Harry off at his house, and Niall clung to him. "Ni, just stay at my house." Harry said, chuckling. Niall's eyes instantly brightened at the offer. He looked at his parents and all the did was chuckle and nod. "Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Horan for taking me. The cabin has yet to disappoint me."

"Thank you for coming Harry. Niall was a plain mess without you." Maura said. Niall whined and Harry just looked at him. He was truly beautiful like this, all embarrassed and flustered and awkward. Other than hot Niall, this was his favorite Niall. They got out of the car and Maura whispered to Harry, "Don't be a stranger. He missed you too much for you two to stop talking again." Harry just touched her shoulder, reassuring her that he could not leave Niall again, that it hurt him as much as it hurt Niall.

It was crazy how easily they could fall back into being Harry and Niall again. It was crazy how fast Harry could fall in love with him again.

\--

Louis realized this was childish; this whole running from the situation thing he had going on with Zayn. They kissed, and even though all Louis truly wants to do is forget that it ever happened, he can't, because it did happen. And now there are loose ends and unsaid words and not enough forgiving. If he's truthful, he doesn't know where to begin. He wants to tell Zayn everything, starting with the day he fell in love with him to the day Zayn broke his heart and everything in between.

Before he knows it, he's dialing Zayn's number, palms sweaty from fear.

\--

Niall felt certain things when he was with Harry. Things he shouldn't feel when he's with Harry. But he couldn't help it. Harry made him happy and whole. Harry made him feel safe and like nothing could possibly go wrong. He realized that maybe he felt this way his whole life with Harry, but now that he had been absent from Niall's life, Niall's finally acknowledging it.

He was sleeping next to Harry. Okay, not sleeping, but neither was Harry. It was a comfortable silence, kind of. Harry was staring at the ceiling, while Niall was staring at his hands in the pitch blackness.

Niall sighed when the silence became anything but comfortable. "My mom was right, you know." Niall said, turning over to face Harry. Harry strained his neck to look back at his friend.

"What?" Harry asked, now turning his complete body over, resting his head on his hand.

"I was a mess without you." Niall said, scooting closer. "I didn't realize how weird I gotten until you weren't with me. When you're around, I feel happy and safe but when you're not, I feel so alone and scared. I don't like feeling like that and it's bad because I don't know why I feel like that. I just do. So don't fucking leave me again, okay? It ruined my life."

Harry's eyes suddenly had this look in them, Niall observed, like fondness. Harry was fond of him and for some reason that made him feel special. "I could never leave you, and don't think that I left, think I was away, but now I'm back, so you don't have to worry anymore." Harry said, kissing the top of Niall's head. He cuddled close to Harry, making sure he couldn't go 'away' ever again.

"I love you, Hazzy."

"I love you too, Ni."

\--

Heartbreak is silly, Josh thinks. He's had his heart broken before, it's like a bird shit on you, sure, but time will clean the damage, but you have to let it. He hasn't. His first heartbreak is when he came out to his grandma and she completely flipped and still refuses to talk to him. He let time heal it. He always said to himself that if she loved him, she would come around. If she didn't come around, she wasn't worth fighting for. He loved his grandma, don't get him wrong, but he couldn't be held down again. Being in the closet is suffocating. It's like you're drowning and he is not going to pulled back under because one person doesn't accept him.

His second heartbreak was losing all his friends. That one quite fixed itself though, bringing in new friends who loved him just as much or more than his old friends. He needed time to get used to the changes that these friends wouldn't talk quantum physics with him, but find more interests in bodily functions and cars. He got it, and he liked it. He liked the change and he's got time to thank for it.

His third heartbreak was losing the one person he didn't want to. His third heartbreak was Liam. Just Liam. He was and still is in love with Liam, but it broke his heart to realize that Liam wasn't in love with him. It was a slow burn, his heartbreak of Liam, a slow burn of pain and stupidity, but a slow burn he will never regret.

\--

"Lou?" Zayn asked through the phone.

"Yeah, listen I jus-"

"Jesus, I am so glad you called. Like, I told Harry everything Lou, and he just said he didn't see me that way and since, he's been checking up on me to make sure I'm alright and shit. And then, he called me and I flipped shit and yelled at him and I don't know how to apologize, Louis." Zayn took a fast breath, as he was talking way to fast for Louis to even get a word in. "Help me."

Louis' world sunk fast right then. "Help me." The strongest of the words, especially coming from the mouth of your best friend and love of your life. All Louis ever wanted to do was _help_ Zayn. All he ever wanted to do was love Zayn. And now he's stuck. He's stuck between loving him and helping him. If he chose to love him, he would be telling Zayn everything, putting Zayn in an even bigger problematic situation than before, and if he chose to help him, he would make him feel better, but then in return making himself dig a bigger hole for him to sit in. He didn't know where to turn, but he found his head spinning, threatening to come off.

"Zayn," Louis said. "I'll help you, if you hear me out for five minutes, okay?" Both, he chose. He'll help him and love him. Hopefully, it'll go as smooth as it did in his head. Expect the worst, right?

"Okay?"

"Okay, so," Louis felt his world spinning, and his body shaking, and his palms getting sweaty. Here it is, the big one. The thing he had been waiting to tell Zayn for years. Here is it. And he still isn't completely ready. It's whatever though, holding it in has got him going insane. "You know, when I got bad? Like everything in my life seemed to turn upside down?"

"Yeah?" Zayn said. "Right after you found out about my thing for Harry." _For_ _fucks_ _sake_! Louis thought. This guy was supposed to be the one who always read between the lines and he still hasn't fucking figured it out.

"Yeah, well, that wasn't exactly a coincidence." Louis shut his eyes. "I got bad because you like him, love him, whatever. I got bad because _I_ love _you_. And I couldn't even think about the possibility that you liked or loved someone else because you were the only person I could ever imagine myself being with and you can call me a twat or a dick or anything that you want, but I can't keep telling myself that this is a phase, because Zayn, this isn't a phase. I love you, and I've realized that there is no way around it."

It was quiet. It was so quiet, Louis could hear the sound of his heart and he wondered if Zayn could, too. Zayn hadn't said anything, but Louis could hear his steady breathing, just normal, nothing major. He remembered then that Zayn thought everything out. He thought out all of his words so nothing could get twisted. Usually, Louis didn't mind it, but right now all he wants Zayn to do is fucking say something.

"Okay," Zayn said. "Okay." Louis sat on the other line, waiting for something else. He was honestly waiting for a blow up, accusing Louis of ruining his chances with Harry. But nothing like that ever came, actually he said nothing else until, "How long?"

Louis was hesitant to tell Zayn the truth, but he figured he was doing nothing but being honest so he just thought, what the hell. "Eighth grade."

"Jesus, Lou." Zayn said, sighing. It wasn't angry, it was more like wow, like he couldn't believe it. Like that was so long. He sounded like he was frustrated that he hadn't even noticed. "Jesus fuck, Louis. Why haven't you ever told me?"

"You never really gave me a chance, now did you?"

"Louis."

"Sorry." Louis said. He was so defensive sometimes. It gets on his own nerves. "Sorry. It's just, I didn't want to. You know, the whole time thinking you were straight, and then the thing with Harry. I've never really had a chance to, well, except for now. And I know this is really bad timing, but when have I ever been good at timing?"

"Never," Zayn said, chuckling a little. "I'm sorry I never noticed." It was awkward and fake and everything was forced and it was like trudging through concrete. "Guess I never really suspected it enough to look."

Louis felt himself snap because this guy! "Suspected it? Zayn it was fucking laid out in your face! I became depressed when I found out you had a thing with Harry, and then I kissed you without a fucking doubt in my mind and you never suspected it? Are you joking?"

"Oh come on, the kiss thing again? Really, Lou? We were high. I don't know how to explain it any other way, okay?" Louis could picture him running his fingers through his hair, probably feathered and soft. It's what he did when he got stressed out and he had these wrinkles on his forehead from scrunching up his face.

"I don't care anymore." But he did. He so did. "How can I help you with Harry?"

"Lou."

"Really," Louis said. "I'm done talking about me." He also bit his tongue so he didn't add 'and you.'

\--

Niall was over Liam. Niall realizes there is a big chance that there was never a time where he was in love with Liam. He denies it because he doesn't feel it anymore. He doesn't feel his heart leap when he gets a text from Liam or sees a picture of him. He doesn't feel it anymore.

And it scares him not because he doesn't feel it anymore with Liam, but because he feels it with Harry now. Even more so with Harry and now he knows that, he wants to piss his pants every time he thinks about it.

\--

Liam finds himself thinking about Josh more than he finds himself thinking about Louis. Maybe it's because Josh stays up till three a.m with him talking about plain nothingness and everything. And maybe one of those nights turned into a slight confessional. And maybe Liam knows how Josh feels about him. And maybe Liam feels the same way.

\--

"What the fuck is going on?" Harry asked running his fingers through his hair. "I mean, Zayn just called me apologizing, and told me that Louis just confessed to him that he loved him. Are we all in love with each other or something?"

"All?" Niall asked. He knew Louis loved Zayn. It wasn't a big shocker to him, but he reminded himself to call Louis and congratulate him on finally telling Zayn. But then comfort him because there's no way Zayn feels the same way.

"Did you not hear me?! Louis told Zayn he loved him." Harry said, a vein in his neck popping out from frustration.

Niall smiled. "Yeah, I heard you. But I already knew that. And plus, why are you acting like a jealous pig? Change your mind on how you feel about Zayn?" _Please_ , _please_ _say_ _no_ , Niall begged in his head.

Harry snapped his neck back into Niall's direction. "What? No." Harry smiled at Niall smiling. It was these moments that drove Niall crazy. Watching Harry get so happy to see him happy. Maybe he always felt this way. Maybe he made himself think he loved Liam because he was scared to love Harry.

"Good."

"Why good?" Harry laughed, his eyes turning light and hopefully. Niall took note because he's never noticed Harry get so desperate to hear what he had so say. Now that he thinks of it, Harry's always interested, he's always there, he does everything for Niall. And that's grea-

Wait.

_It's_ _me_ , Niall clicks in his head. _He_ _loves_ _me_. It makes sense now, when at the lake Harry said he was in love with someone else when he was talking to Zayn. That someone else was him. That someone else was just to god damn blind to see it.

"It's me isn't it?" Niall asked him a soft whisper. Harry's smile faded, confusion settling into his facial expression.

"What?"

Niall cleared his throat, taking his time to process it as the thought about it, as he was about to say it out loud. "You love me, don't you?" Harry's face collapsed, his shoulders slouched, like he'd been defeated. "Don't you?" Niall tried again, tougher and more confident this time.

Harry's eyes were watering as he nodded his head. "I'm sorry, I think I should just go."

"Wait!" Niall smiled at him as Harry looked back at him with same hopeful look on his face. "You didn't hear what I had to say about it, you dick. Just assuming I'm not okay with it."

"You're okay with it?" Harry choked out. Niall just laughed and nodded. Harry ran over and engulfed him into a big bear hug. "I'm so glad you said that. I could not lose you again and I promise I will try to get over it and you won't even have to worry about it, okay? Ever."

"You're just assuming again, Hazzy." Niall was stroking Harry's huge mop of curly brown hair on the top of his head. "Has it ever crossed your mind that, I don't know, that I may feel the same way about you that you feel about me." _Thank Jesus_! Niall thinks. He didn't know how long he could hold that in for.

"What?" Harry was back to choking on his words, a new layer of confusion setting in. "You love me?" Niall rolled his eyes and nodded. Harry smiled and Niall thinks it's the biggest smile he'd ever seen, and because Harry was so happy, Niall was happy, too. And so he smiled back.

"You gonna kiss me or what?" Niall asked when awkwardness began to overtake the situation. To this, Harry laughed and pressed his lips to Niall's.

Fireworks.

\--

Liam sat in front of his two friends, Zayn and Louis, with Josh to the side of him. They were all staring.

"Well, we all know what we're here for, I think." Louis said, acting like Louis a tad more than before school let out, but he was avoiding looking Zayn in the eyes, and refusing to be alone with him which was weird because they're close, really close.

Josh cleared his throat. "Yeah." He sat up a bit, resting his hand on the table. Liam resisted the urge to grab it and hold it. "Harry and Niall. They're together now, yes?" The answer was loud and clear, and everyone knew it. They were inseparable, even more so than before. Not to mention they called everyone right after everything presumably happened and screamed that they were in love. Most people when they found out said, "about time," but not the boys. They were clueless. _If_ _only_ , Liam thought, _things could be that simple with Josh and me._

_"_ Guess so," Zayn said. He seemed depressed and very absent from the conversation. As if Liam knew why. This is the first he's heard from both Louis and Zayn. He's sure he'll hear about it sooner rather than later, because that's just how his friends were. Dramatic. Always looking for a dramatic way to do things, to get a conversation started. Drama every which way.

Josh seemed not totally surprised by it, though, not nearly as surprised as say Zayn or himself. He was just kind of half assing his reaction and surprise. "Think they'll still talk to us?"

"Since when have _they_ talked to us? Since what? Fucking _April_? _Of last year?!"_ Louis suddenly snapped at Josh. No one really flinched at his reaction since Lou had to a tendency of over reacting and yelling. Everyone just kind of rolled their eyes and ignored it.

Zayn looked up next, pulling out his wallet. "Who knows. But if they're all lovey dovey, I'll personally kick them out of the group, okay? I can't deal with that shit." Zayn laid a ten dollar bill down onto the table and headed out without another word.

"What the fuck is his deal?" Liam asked, finally speaking up and contributing to the conversation.

"Jesus fuck," Louis said, face palming and shaking his head. "You two are so out of the loop." Funny thing is, Louis said this but then proceeded to tell what happened so far in the hot, sweaty and way too _dramatic_ summer.

\--

Louis left, and then it was just Josh and Liam. Josh hadn't really talked to Liam in person since he sort of confessed to Liam that he had a thing for him, so right now, it's was pretty fucking awkward.

Liam cleared his throat. "You know, this is really messed up." He said, looking at Josh. Josh just nodded. Okay, it was really awkward. "Think we'll ever be the same again? All of us? That is."

"No, Liam, I don't." Josh said, quietly because it's true, they won't. Niall and Harry are dating, Louis is in love with Zayn, Zayn at one point was in love with Harry, but then Louis kissed Zayn and Zayn kissed him back and then Josh likes Liam and Liam may or may not like Josh. "But I think you already knew that."

Suddenly, a very pretty, very short and very blonde girl appeared before them. "Hi, sorry didn't mean to be eavesdropping, but couldn't help but over hear." Overhear? Right. "It's pretty obvious isn't it?" The girl said. "The darker skin one wants to be with the one wearing suspenders, and vise versa and you want to be with him and he wants to be with you. And those other guys are already together."

"I'm sorry, but, who are you?" Liam found himself asking, instead on commenting on the very likely things she was saying.

"You're not sorry." The girl laughed as she said it. It was more of a giggle, actually. "My names Ladelle." She leaned on their table. "You don't have to tell me your names, it's not exactly like you're going to see me again, but you asked and I'm not a very secretive person. Just can't keep my opinions in."

"You're telling me," Josh said with a snicker. She laughed along with him. If Liam was straight, Ladelle would be perfect for him. Something about her though screamed taken, not that Liam was even considering dating her, because gross, but if she didn't have a boyfriend, he would be extremely surprised.

"Well," she said, perking up and throwing he bag over her shoulder. "Guess I'll stop budding in on your lives now. You two have a good day, and remember, it's not as bad as it seems. And I wouldn't wait too long. Love does fizzle out if not taken care of."

And well, what she was saying was true. Look what happened to him and Louis.

\--

Niall found it kind of weird, snuggling up to Harry, kissing his head, and lips and being able to call Harry _his._ He doesn't know how to describe it because he snuggled up to Harry and kissed his head and fell asleep on him and slept in the same bed as him, but dating changes things. He looks at everything he does in a new light. Like, _oh, you're my boyfriend so if I cuddle you we're being romantic._

"Niall," Harry said, playing with Niall's fingers as they watched a indie film that was on Netflix. Niall hummed into Harry's head as a response. "You're still my best friend, right? Like even though we're dating, we're still best friends. I can't live with not being best friends with you so you have to be real with me."

"Of course," Niall said, pushing down ever ounce of regret and doubt he had in his stomach and mind. Niall doesn't keep secrets well, and he knows that if he doesn't try hard enough, everything he's thinking will spill out of his mouth, and he will never be able to take any of it back. "You will always be my best friend, no matter what happens."

\--

Josh was looking at Liam at a sideways glance as he checked his schedule with Josh's. Liam's eyebrows scrunched and his lips pursed, a look Josh was familiar with. His concentration face that seemed to always creep up on Liam whenever he was faced with a task that seemed more difficult than average. Josh just wanted to run his finger tips on the top of the wrinkles on Liam's forehead.

School was in two weeks and none of them had really spoken, well, none of them as a big group. They drifted into their little groups enclosed of two people. There was Louis and Zayn, who were kind of dating, but still trying to figure things out and then there were Niall and Harry who were dating, and still best friends at the same time.

And then there were Liam and Josh. Liam and Josh, defiantly not as complicated as the rest, but not as easy as desired. They had their own hard ships that they faced. Liam knew how Josh felt about him, but it was still a little blurry as to if Liam returned those certain feelings. It shouldn't be that difficult, but it was. There was nothing black and white about it; it was all gray area and unfinished sentences and a lot of cold shoulder, but looking at Liam now, Josh knew it was all worth it.

\--

Louis didn't know what to call Zayn, to be completely honest. They kissed sometimes and there may have or may not have been a hand down his pants, but they weren't official and sometimes the fact that he can't even talk to Zayn about it makes him want to pull his hair out.

See, the thing is, Zayn is an asshole. The biggest asshole that Louis had ever met, but for some reason, Zayn was an asshole Louis was in love with. Zayn's an asshole because no matter how hard you try, you're always going to get the same answer as the last person. Which, wasn't even really an answer, just a shrug of the shoulder and a sideways glance.

So, Zayn's an asshole.

\--

School wasn't as normal as it had once been. First, Zayn walks with one guy, Louis, instead of the other five. He eats with one guy instead of five. He sits outside for lunch instead of at that center table. And he's a junior now with his license and new car and now he watches all his old friends, except Josh, pull up in their cars because they have their license's too.

"So," Louis said, leaning against his locker. "Wanna come over after school?" His relationship with Louis was a strange one. They kissed, they did _stuff_ together, but they were not dating. So there is a 99% chance that Louis asked him over so Zayn would blow him.

Zayn sighed and twirled his keys around his thumb. "Yeah, okay."

\--

"Can't come over today, Niall." Harry said as he leaned on his car. Their relationship has gone from exciting to a tad boring. Almost like they were just friends again. They barely kissed anymore and they haven't had sex yet. Niall wasn't ready. They were a married couple.

Niall shrugged, as if it didn't bother him. "It's okay," He said. He started walking, hugging his books to his chest, expecting Harry to just walk along side him, which he did.

He did everyday.

\--

And that's when it happened.

Normality.

\--

_Fighting was no longer an option._

_Harry woke up, laying next to his best friend; and he was only that. A best friend._

_Niall shoved him and called him dude as Liam and Zayn ran into the room, followed by Louis. None of it was real. Still sophomores, still losers, still not_ _out of the closest, and still not lovers._

_It was all a dream._

_A stupid dream._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if that hurt your hearts:(
> 
> PART 2 IF IT IS REQUESTED ENOUGH!
> 
> This took me 5ever and it's still not edited completely, I just needed to post this before I went crazy:)


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